Coffee for 8

Every morning I make my pot of coffee to the 6. I could probably drink less, I could definitely use more. For some reason my caffeine loving body must have known something I didn't. Because today was an 8.

Maybe it knew that everyone would sleep late, but I'd pay for it with overflowing diapers.

Maybe it knew that the dog throws up after drinking cold water, but positively vomits when he eats snow. Twice. Even after I filled his bowl with the required lukewarm water.

Maybe it knew the maniacs would sprinkle raisins and Trix all over the floor, after I just picked it up, because people are coming.

Or maybe, just maybe, it knew how annoying the New Kid is and knew he would grab a freshly poured cup, and pour it all over the floor.

Thank you, me, for seeing far enough into the future to allow me to make enough to compensate what I just wiped up. You're the best.

love,love,love

Since it's been a while, here's a list of things I love:

* The extra sleepy cuddle I had with Baduka today.

* The "no,no,no" moaning Dizzy does every morning I need to wake him up, to bring Baduka to school.

* The super happy smile the New Kid gave me, when I put the visor down, and slid the extra plastic, blocks the rear view mirror, but it's worth stopping the screaming, because the sun is so bright, piece over, and he could open his eyes again, on the way to school.

* Taking a shower, and not hearing one cry, and nothing was broken when I got out. Amazing. No clean pajama pants, so I'm wearing jeans, but still, a silent shower when the kids are awake is unheard of.

* The cup of tea Daddy makes me at night, without me asking, so I can truly be the old lady, we all know I am. This yarn won't crochet itself, you know.

* The goofy ways Dizzy falls asleep at night.

* The butt wiggling dance they all do when they are happy.

* How rearranging furniture can make your shoebox feel like a whole new world.

* When you do a gigantic house clean, and two days later it's still pretty much awesome, so you can justify being lazy, even if a new person is coming over in 5 hours.

That last one tells you that even if I'm wearing jeans today, doesn't mean I'm doing anything productive.

It hasn't been that long, right?

Hello again, it's been brought to my attention that a few of you miss my crazy. What's even stranger is how it doesn't feel like that much time has passed. My charger cord on my Nook broke, and that's what I write this on. I finally got to Barnes and Noble to get a replacement, the night before jury duty, and they gave me the wrong cord. I didn't notice til I got home. That was October 12th I think.

Maybe you're wondering how I didn't notice when she handed it to me. Listen, I was on a field trip with my best redhead, in a bookstore, I'm lucky I didn't sleep over. Three kid-free hours passed from the time I entered the Nook section, til the time I left. I forgot why I was actually there, til I walked back in the house. I definitely wasn't concerned about cord size.

So, anyway... it still seems like all that only happened 3 days ago, which goes to show how much my mind has been melted since having kids. I mean we celebrated the New Kid's birthday, Halloween, Daddy's birthday, Thanksgiving, Black Friday, our anniversary, my birthday. The New Kid walks, Baduka has been amazing, Dizzy is starting to talk a little. Christmas presents have been bought, decorations put up, stockings hung.

But if you ask me what day it is? October 71st, I think?

So don't question it if you get Christmas cards in May. I'm a little off.

the real first day of school

Last Monday was the Official First Day of school for Baduka, but I feel like today actually is since he won't be dismissed at 11 and it's back to the usual 1:30. Early dismissal is the most annoying thing. By the time I get everyone up, dressed, car seated, to school, and back, it's 10:30 and I'm doing it all over again. I got not a single thing accomplished last week, well except for Friday, when I managed to kill my altinator (alternater?) (I don't know, I'm a girl, ha) in the Dunkin Donuts drive-thru. Such a fantastic experience. Daddy and Nana to the rescue, because I was legit having a panic attack at the thought of being late for pick-up.

When Baduka started school last year, I was so sad to have him gone all day, now I'm sitting outside of the school a half hour early, because he is driving me insane. All summer break long I feel like the only things I did with him were, chase him down the hallway and out of the kitchen. The kid cannot be entertained or contained. I really wonder how school accomplishes it, because I've seen the classroom. We own the same toys, we have practically the same number of kids. Are they also running down the hallway 47 times a day yelling, "Get back here!" "You're driving me bananas!" "Stop climbing everything!" "It's official, I'm drinking dinner!" ??

If that's the case, maybe I should start sending weekly, Thank You For Putting Up With My Maniac presents. Do liquor stores sell gift cards?

Therapeutic French Toast?

I've been doing the Special K diet, you know the one on the back of the box? I'm not crazy strict about it, just during the week instead of eating pancakes and grilled cheese with the boys, I eat 3/4 cup of cereal and 1/2 cup of milk. Ha. Today has been an exception.

The boys slept in which is great for me, not so great for the pajamas and bedsheets. As I was changing one kid after the other, the cat was making that god awful, I'm gonna vomit sound that she has perfected. I literally threw kids out of the way to get her outside.

She puked on the porch. The stupid, gross dog ate it. Then while I was back putting clothes on kids, he pooped in the sandbox. Then came in the house and puked the cat puke on the living room floor.

I had to gather all the children into their room and lock the door, while I cleaned up the mess, because I know they have no grossness, don't touch that boundaries. They weren't happy. Neither was I, if we're being honest.

So yes, after that disgusting morning, I broke my weekday diet. These two pieces of Coconut French Toast that have been begging me to eat them from the freezer, were a delightful, well deserved moment in my day.

It really is the strangest things that save your sanity when you're a stay at home mom.

I need a maid.

It's not often that I want to clean. In fact, I only wash the dishes everyday because I hate paper plates, and we need to eat. But once in a while, I think, "well, I need to waste all this energy I have (HA!) might as well reorganize." Just kidding, I plan on showering today so I figured I'd make it worth it, by getting sweaty and gross first. Don't wanna waste water by being somewhat clean already.

I downed two cups of coffee (because I lied in that last paragraph about the energy,) and decided while the crazies were watching Daniel Tiger, I'd finally tackle their room. It's been long enough. They have so many toys and pretzels under the crib. Between the bunk bed and the wall was possibly an entire box of Trix. Matchbox cars as far as the eye could see. You get the picture.

So I pushed everything into the middle of the room and started from the outside in. That's when Baduka realized I was "doing something."

He walked in, looked at all the toy buckets, the train table, the moved aside crib, and in a moment of perfection said--

"WHAT DID YOU DO?!"

You know you need to clean more, when you shock the 3 year old with autism into speaking.

hello again

So, it's been a little bit since I've blogged about the crazies, mainly because the Captain of them, Baduka, is on summer break. Umm, its been so fun. You know, because he plays this super awesome game all day long. He made it up himself and it's called "Jump Over The Babygate And Run Down The Hallway Straight Into the Furthest Corner Of The Kitchen Everytime Mom Looks Busy Or Comfy Or Tired Or Is Peeing." It's a little wordy though, so I renamed it "Why Are You Such A Pain In The A**?" There's no real winner to the game either, but after a good effort on my part I'm rewarded with wine at bedtime. And Malibu at dinner, if it has been a particularly long session of it.

Dizzy got evaluated for Early Intervention last week, because he has a speech delay. I haven't been too worried about it, but at his last doctor's appointment the substitute doctor was concerned. Blah. Maybe in my next lifetime, I'll learn to talk less and my kids will talk more.

The New Kid has a bunch of new teeth, crazy hair, and a chubby smile that makes me fall in love a million times a day. I think he's gonna walk soon too, so yeah, I'm screwed.

But other than that, it's been a whole bunch of usual around here.

Climbing, yelling, jumping, giggling, wrestling, fighting, goofy, crazy usual.

Let's be lazy...

Sometimes I justify my laziness during the day by how much I do before 10 o'clock in the morning. If all I can manage to do is turn on channel 2 and hope for the best, then yeah, by the time Daddy gets home, I try to at least cook dinner and maybe, just maybe, do a load of laundry.

So today, I have gotten the boys up, changed, and fed. Baduka to school. Baduka also required an emergency diaper change in the car, because he's disgusting. Which caused us to not have enough run around the tree time, so he was a little upset with me. Like I pooped his pants. Jeez.

Then the dog puked on the front seat in the Dunkin Donuts drive-thru.

When we got home Dizzy was upset that his bageltwist was still too hot to let him eat, so he decided on the entire bag of Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Yes, I did have to wrestle the bag from him.

The New Kid has been alternating between babbling, smiling and screaming at me, because he hates being contained.

Two poops, a blogpost and a load of laundry, all before 9:59 should mean someone feeds me peeled grapes and rubs my feet.

But in reality, I'll probably be fed already chewed pretzels and jumped on til bedtime. Ahh, this is the life!

Dinner!

Cooking dinner tonight, and I can't help but think of last night's fantastic dinner. We were on the way home, and I thought grilled chicken and a simple lettuce, cucumber, and crouton salad, sounded delightful after our day out and about.

We stopped at the grocery store for a few things, where I purchased the required chicken, lettuce, and cucumber. All seemed to be falling into place just perfectly. I mean, we already had croutons!

We got home, Daddy started the grill, I made the salad. Then we both opened a delightful adult beverage, and enjoyed the beautiful weather out on the porch.

The children being the most perfect beings on Earth, were playing happily, going inside and out. Laughing and running. Being ever so perfect.

Maybe I should have kept a better eye on the inside of the laughing and running. It was my fault. I mean, how could i blame those cherubs? Those delightful, little scamps? Those amazing, amazing creatures?

It was DEFINITELY my fault, that one of them decided to help season the salad.

You know? With an entire 12 ounce container or salt, pepper, and garlic (sparlic, as we like to call it.)

Mmm, nothing makes a simple salad of lettuce, cucumber and croutons taste more delightful, than all the water you have to rinse it with, to make it edible again. After, of course, picking out as many croutons as possible, to prevent water absorption.

Have kids, they said. It'll be fun, they said.

quiet time

Sometimes this house is actually not as crazy as we expect, which means I don't have much to blog about. Boooo. Except for it also means I don't want to drink my dinner. Yayyy. This week has been one of those "quiet" weeks. Sure, they've been off the walls, but there hasn't been one day where I had to wipe poop off the TV, so I'll take it.

But there have been a few things.

We've discovered the New Kid is TERRIBLE at eating watermelon. Seriously chokes every time. On watermelon. Seems like it shouldn't be possible to do that.

He's also at that stage where he wants to always stand. It doesn't matter where or when either. Tubby time. Diaper changing time. Bed time. You're standing still in front of him, so he grabs your legs from behind and you almost both fall over time.

Dizzy is proving to be quite the dancer. Like his mother. His no rhythm, is she having a seizure?, what kind of dancing is that?, mother. Poor kid.

He also has been punching, but finishing it with a kiss and a death grip hug around the neck. It's sweet. So, so sweet.

He also cries real hard when he sees his blanket go in the washing machine. Payback for the punching. I may wash that thing everyday til he's 3.

Baduka sounded out the letters of most of the alphabet earlier today. Like, really? And we taught him to put the milk back in the fridge. Huge deal, because normally he leaves it on the floor in front of the door. He's kind of like a Sim sometimes.

Only four more days of summer school for my little smartypants, too. I can't believe the progress he's made since he started. Still mostly mimicking everything he hears, but there is also the days where he labels everything. Getting him dressed and he says, "Shirt!" "Shoes!" Pouring him a drink and he says, "Milk!" "Cup!" Stuff like that makes me so excited for him. At my mom's pool last weekend he actually said "towel, dried, milk". First time he's ever requested anything.

And he's been wearing his train hat. Which is awesome since normally we aren't even allowed to acknowledge his head, nevermind decorate it.

Thanks boys for the break this week.

Times like these

I haven't wrote a blog in a while, because I didn't think anything really happened that needed to be written out. But then the more I thought about it, the more I realized there's been plenty of short stories that made me laugh, made me crazy, made me happy.

Like last Sunday, when we wanted to take the best boys to the park and as soon as we crossed the street it started to sprinkle a few raindrops. Daddy said, "it's not gonna rain, rain. We'll be fine." So we continued on. About 10 minutes after we started playing, it started to drizzle, then it was a full on summer downpour. The boys had a blast. Even the New Kid decided the swing is awesome, and spent the entire time laughing. It was like a poor man's trip to Water Country, which works out, since we are far from rich.

Or last Thursday, when I spent 4 hours watching my little sister be in labor, watched her have contraction after contraction, watched the nurses be kind of obnoxious, watched her scream and cry, but didn't watch her have my perfect, little nephew. How did I miss that? She was 6cm, the nurses were calling for an epidural, and my mom wanted to go outside for a cigarette, because they were convinced it would take a while. Nope, 5 minutes. When a girl wants to push, you should probably listen. We left the room at 6cm and came back to a 6lb 1.7oz teeny, tiny baby.

Or the other night when I said, " why aren't we in the Wheel Watcher's Club?" Then decided to sign up, while Daddy was watching Jeopardy, and while no one was watching Baduka pull poop out of his diaper. We know how that ended.

Or last night, when Dizzy sat on my lap and watched a video of himself on my phone, and was laughing so hard, we had to video him on Daddy's phone. What was he doing in the video? Climbing on my lap, saying hi, and falling off onto the floor, over and over. Comedy gold.

Or the the other night when I went to check on the maniacs, and Baduka and Dizzy were asleep together on the bottom bunk. I hope they always end the day as friends like that.

And then there was this morning, when I quietly opened their bedroom door, to see Baduka "reading" to his brothers. The book is Does a Kangaroo Have a Mother Too? and it goes through a bunch of animals asking if they have mothers and YES, YES! Just like me and you! And it was hard to understand, but I knew what he was doing and it was in the exact way, down to the pointing to himself, like I read it to him.

That was when I realized, that I may not have a crazy, ridiculous, these kids are insane, story every day, but I have a lot of stories that make those times even more worth it.

Ahh, kids.

I came into the kitchen to make Dizzy a peanut butter sandwich, and he seemed pretty excited. I mean, it is his favorite of all the sandwiches, so it makes sense. I handed it to him, he smiled and took a huge bite, and I turned around to grab myself a handful of Chicken In A Biskit crackers. He practically launched that sandwich, in order to free his grubby little hands, for one of my delicious, delicious crackers. Little brat. As we snacked, I thought of a list of reasons why having kids is a crazy idea.

* You can almost never hide the fact that you're eating something delicious.

* You will definitely trip, kick, or step on the same 57 toys everyday. No matter how many times you put them away.

* You will almost never sleep past 7:30 in the morning, as long as diapers and bottles are still required.

* You will have to see disgusting, gross, smelly things in your kids' pants, at least 3 times a day, per kid under 4.

* You will find a moment every few days, where you can sit, get comfy, and not do anything, and in that moment, all hell breaks loose.

* You can't really ever not make something for dinner, even on the nights that all you want to eat is a Malibu and Diet.

* You have to teach them So.Many.Things. Like don't smother your brother, don't feed him magazines, don't unfold the laundry, don't wipe peanut butter on the couch, don't bite the dog, don't headbutt Daddy's crotch, don't dump the bathtub onto the floor, don't run away, don't jump from there, don't put your toothbrush in the toilet...

* You have to do almost all these things, without completely losing your mind.

And that's why kids come out so cute, so you don't give them away to the next person who rings the doorbell during naptime.

Just in case I was bored...

Tomorrow is Dizzy's 2nd birthday, and I swear these kids know how to drive me the craziest, just when I need to be the busiest. The day started off with them dumping all their toy buckets, and its gone downhill from there.

My mom is the best Nana ever, so she came to watch them, while I went to get cake ingredients, and I swear she couldn't get out of here fast enough! While I was gone they dumped all the buckets of toys again and drove her insane. I was gone 30 minutes.

I thought things were calming down when I discovered their mutual love of Ring Pops. While they happily and QUIETLY enjoyed them, I got the favor bags filled. Dizzy even fell asleep for a short crazy recharge.

I knew I was probably pushing my luck when I put on Monsters Inc, for the 327th time this month, but I just thought, "there's only a few dishes, I can definitely wash them before Mike and Sulley report to the Scare Floor."

And yes, I did get them washed. But it cost me an early Baduka bath.

Why? Because of course, he festively sprinkled poop balls throughout the living room. And then smashed them into the floor with his feet.

I need a drink.

Rain, Rain DON'T go away...

On Monday, when I dropped off Baduka at school, I was a little freaked out by the chaos. There were a lot of new "teachers" getting matched up with the returning kids. I'm pretty sure they are all college students learning How To Go Crazy In One 5 Week Period. Thankfully, Baduka is still with his teacher for the summer, but not his two regular teachers aides. So yes, I did text Daddy from the car, that I was "a little nervy-nerve."

Tuesday when I picked him up, I definitely did not want to hear the following words...

"(Baduka) had a great day, except for when he escaped..."

UMMM, WHAT?!

Apparently, for the first time ever, he tried to leave the playground at recess. She said it was less than a minute before she got him back, but it was scary and unexpected. I said to her she's lucky she found him, because I would have had to kill her and I wasn't wearing my murdering pants. And then we chuckled Ha Ha Ha.

Seriously, though.

Now I'm back to being terrified that he's going to run away. I showed up today with his kid alarm in his bag. She promised they weren't actually going outside today, because of the rain, and she's getting bungee cords for the gate for recess time. It does little to calm my crazy though, my worst fear is him running away.

Since bad weather keeps them inside for recess, I hate to inform you all that I will be perfecting my Rain Dance til August. Sorry to ruin your summer.

Household helper

I took a little vacation from the blogging thing, while Baduka was on a vacation from school. Vacation week was not as crazy as I thought it was going to be. Some family days, some swimming, some fireworks. It was good.

I had high hopes today was going to be easy. Did some laundry. Did some hanging out. Debated on whether I should take them swimming at Nana and Papa's after school, when Dizzy made the decision for me.

While I was in the kitchen washing cups and making a bottle, he took it upon himself to do a little cleaning.

By dumping an entire bottle of water on the couch and floor.

Umm. That's where I sit.

Swimming it is!

Progress Reports

When Baduka aged out of Early Intervention and he started school, I was so nervous. For the months and weeks ahead of time, I didn't even want to talk about my baby being a big boy. I cried and made pancakes his first day to pass the hours until I could pick him up. He seemed so little that first day in April.

Today was his last regular school day. He has a week off before the summer program starts. Today was also the first of his school progress reports. I sat in the front seat in the driveway, with tears in my eyes, reading all his accomplishments. All of his little checkmarks in the boxes marked EMERGING. For Baduka, I'm sure school is just that place he goes to get away from his crazy mother and brothers. But for me and Daddy, school is the place that's making our baby a little boy.

In the past 3 months, he has come so far. He has confidence. He wants to play and interact with other kids. He tries to communicate. He mirrors so many words and songs. There have even been times when he's actually talked, if that makes sense. Normally, the things he says are repeats of  what he hears. But then there are times, like this morning, when I handed him a cookie and he said, "issa cookie, iss gooood." He continued eating his cookie and I came in the kitchen and cried a little bit.

Most parents take all these things for granted, but when we got an autism diagnosis for him, we weren't sure what we could take for granted anymore. When we worried that he didn't know what words were, and that they have meanings and weren't just sounds, people would try to joke about being happy he didn't talk, because their kids never shut up. We HATE hearing that. I would do anything to know that when I say something to him, he knows what I'm talking about. I would love to take away his frustration, by knowing exactly what he is trying to say. I would love to prevent the crying and confusion. So we celebrate every little victory.

When he says "Ready! Set! Go!" We cheer so loud.
When he points to a tree and says, "Issa tree!" We high-five.
When today he watched the windshield wipers on the school bus going, and started singing, "the wipers on the bus go swish,swish,swish," I sang along with him.

I hope by all the cheers, "Yay! You did it!"s, high-fives and hugs, he knows how proud we are of how far he's come. I can't wait to see what else his big, cute head holds.

All in a day's work

The maniacs woke up 22 minutes before the alarm today. Like legit awake, because Dizzy actually brought his blankie and pillow to our bed at 3:32am. Sweet of him to bring his own supplies, then proceed to STEAL.MY.PILLOW. With his WHOLE.SIDEWAYS.BODY. He's so considerate.

Anyway, the lack of sleep has made me lazy (-ier than usual.) But yesterday I was super productive and cleaned and reorganized. Can't tell today, but I swear, I did.

So, I'm considering it a job well done, that I made all the boys' doctor AND dentist appointments. Just to make the appointment for the doctor was like 15 minutes of names, birthdays, what they were being seen for, etc... I should have really considered how long these processes would take when I said, "sure let's have kids!" Three times. Consider this my warning to all you childless readers.

Sometimes it amazes me that I'm even allowed to make doctors' appointments for them. I don't even like to call for a pizza. Daddy does ALL the insurance stuff. And bills. And phone calls for dinner. I hate the phone that much. I talk too much and start telling not necessary information. And for some strange reason, I'm never actually prepared to talk to an actual person, so I already have my message ready, and that completely throws off a normal conversation.

For the dentist appointments, I Facebook messaged the information. Best thing I'll use it for this week, I'm sure.

After all this hard work, I need a nap and a coffee break.

Losing it

Me, Dizzy, and the New Kid just got back from Target, our favorite place to give Daddy's paycheck to. I "needed" new plastic bins and covers for toy organization. It amazes me how crazy about toy sorting I am, because neat and tidy, I am NOT. I think I've watched Toy Story wayyy too many times though, because it freaks me out when toys are put away at night without all their parts. And honestly, I talked to my Cabbage Patch Kid well into my 20's, a part of me will always believe they do come alive.

Because of this insanity, I know all the toys they have, and where they go, and what's missing. I fear they are silently screaming, "I'm a LOST toy!" when they aren't where the rest of them are. Crazy- party of me!

But the baffling part is, where do they go? We live in a one bedroom. We barely leave the house. How on earth did they lose the 7 and 11 block from their wooden clock? How did they lose 51 magnets from the alphabet set? I know where the H is, but the rest? And all the picture magnets to match the letters?

When I put the bus away at night, the driver has to be in the drivers' seat, and let's not get started on passenger placement. When one is "missing," I wonder what kind of adventures they've been on.

When the boys lose interest in a toy, I seriously feel bad for it. I try to make them like it again, like some strange, forced playdate.

Clearly, along with lost toys, I've also lost my mind and my hair, but none of my weight. Thanks, boys.

Rare moments

Ever have one of those amazing days, where all your crazy children decide, "nah, not today? Today, we'll just take it easy on the old lady. Let's just relax, she's been looking a little tired, and have you seen those grays?" And you seize that opportunity to shower, or eat a real lunch, or in my case today, wash the disgusting kitchen floor?

The New Kid was napping, Baduka and Dizzy were all comfy with their bags of Froot Loops and Monsters Inc was playing. All was quiet and peaceful.

I had dragged the kitchen chairs onto the back porch and swept under, over, and around everything else. I just filled up the sink with steaming hot water and Pine-Sol. I found the mop.

"DING DONG!"
"BARK,BARK,BARK!"
"WAHHH!"
"Other various sounds of all H-E-Double hockey sticks (for you Bruins fans) breaking loose."

Seriously, lady? I don't want a bible. I don't want to talk about Jesus. I didn't even want to open the door, but CatDog would have barked until tomorrow if I didn't.

I actually think those two ladies should have came in and washed the floor, entertained the children, and made me a drink.

God probably would have wanted that.

Rain, Rain, GO AWAY!

We got home today as soon as the rain was the worst, who's surprised? I tried staying in the car for as long as possible, but Dizzy hated that idea, and made it known by annoying the New Kid out of a car nap. So I got them all in the house and Dizzy set the dog free. Which meant the dog was running into someone else's yard to pee on their stuff (sorry, Neighbors!) I was still carrying Baduka in, and Dizzy was standing on the kitchen table, so with a kid under each arm, I locked them in their bedroom to go get the dumb dog. Halfway down the hallway was a "Baby on the Loose!" Seriously? I know I dream of escaping some days, but these guys need a better plan.

Because of all the blah this rain has brought, I figure now would be a good time to add to my Things That Make Me Happy List.

* The smell of the New Kid. The drooly, pukey, formulaey deliciousness that apparently only a mother could love, because Daddy thinks it's disgusting. What does he know? He willingly smells poop.

* How whenever Dizzy does anything that we say "Thank you!" for he high-fives us and says, "YESSSA!" It's really quite adorable.

* How awesome Baduka has been doing in school and out. The other day he put together an alphabet floor puzzle and named every picture. And he's memorized some parts of books, so it's like he's reading.

* Going to the mailbox and not finding a single bill. Today the only mail was for my aunt who hasn't lived here for years asking for a church donation, and an offer to switch our cable.

* Already knowing exactly what's for dinner.

What about you guys? What makes you happy on rainy, blah days? Leave a comment!

Happy Father's Day

So Father's Day didn't go exactly how we planned when we finally figured out what we wanted to do with the boys. After Daddy's fast emergency call and breakfast, we decided on a movie at Chunky's, because the maniacs would be free (under 4) and dads got free admission AND a bag of popcorn. It would have cost us $5.75, without any food or drinks. And we were using it as a test for when Monsters University and Despicable Me 2 come out.

So after a fast shower (thanks for pointing out my crazy hair, Daddy) we got the bag packed, the boys dressed and in the car, and flew to Pelham, because obviously we were almost late. Got there, got the boys in the carriage, and halfway across the parking lot Daddy decided to check for his wallet. Of course, that was home on the dresser. I, of course, didn't have anything but my license, because I was with Daddy, my personal debit card.

All we could do was high-five, while saying, "best parents ever," and turn around to go back to the car. Then we had to find a Stop and Shop with a Citizens Bank, so we could withdraw enough money to get gas, and a much needed at this point, coffee.

We ended up at a park and the best boys had a blast. Dizzy actually screamed his way out of it, which isn't really something he does.

To be honest it didn't matter what we did, or where we did it, to celebrate the day. I know whether it's a day in June or the middle of winter, the best boys love their dad and he loves them. Their little faces light up when they see him come in the door after a day at work. They want hugs and smiles and high-fives no matter how smelly. Daddy doesn't care how tired he is, he always gets down to their eye level to give them a smile and a big hug and a "how's your day, bud?" He asks them questions and even though he doesn't get an answer yet, he always waits. To me that's the best part. He shows them how important they are to him, by giving them that time to answer, whether they use it or not.

So, Happy Father's Day to the most amazing, loving, caring daddy these boys ever had. Thanks for being so awesome.

Make a wish!

Most parents have a wish list for their kids- happy, healthy, blahblahblah, but I think we have a realistically silly one too. Here's mine:

* I wish our floors were toy and dirt repellent, because I'm tired of wishing the floors were clean.

* I wish naptime had a sleep remaining monitor, so I would know if I had time to shower or nap too. Actually, I wouldn't waste that time showering, who am I trying to impress?

* I wish the maniacs knew how important Mommy Bathroom time is, and not do anything dangerous while I'm in there. Last time I let my guard down, Baduka threw the TV on the floor.

* I wish they didn't decide to love that stupid toy the day I decide to finally throw it away. I blame them for our future appearance on Hoarders.

* I wish parents were given a remote control to slow down and speed up certain moments without ruining the timing of the universe or anything like that. A particularly grody diaper? Hurry up, literally! A wicked adorable cuddle? Slooooower!

* I wish someone would invent Eye Cameras for those close up moments of awesome, or those times when you aren't holding a camera. Just as long as you yell, "Click!" The moment is instantly saved and uploaded to the site of your choosing.

* I wish Dizzy hadn't learned that I make him "say sorry" with a kiss, because now he has perfected the Smack and Smooch. He will do something evil to the New Kid and immediately put his kissing lips on. He's lucky he's cute, but the New Kid will be bigger than him someday.

What about you guys? Any wishes on your list, that I'm missing out on wishing for? Leave a comment. And I added a follower button and a subscribe, let me know who's reading my crazy life stories, by following and subscribing. Thank you :)

Just getting some diapers...

Last night Daddy changed all the diapers from the time he got home from work til the maniacs went to bed, because yes, he is the best. When he asked if the diaper pack was the last one we had, I told him I thought Dizzy hid a pack in the closet. He didn't. So when I heard Daddy say something about lasting til tomorrow to them, I hoped it meant he was bringing us diapers. It didn't. Which meant today, when I finally dragged myself out of bed at 8:30something-ish, and saw only 3 diapers for the 3 butts, I knew a Target trip was mandatory. I almost considered potty training all of them today, they pee where they want anyway.

I hate shopping with 3 children for exactly 1 reason. The shopping carts. When will every store decide that the design of the BJ's ones are far superior and get them too? The double seats with working buckles, and the basket with room for the New Kid's baby bucket AND stuff is genius. The other stores who just slapped a plastic chair to a regular cart really didn't help the situation of more than one child. The cart is as long as a freaking aisle. Going to pay, and prevent them from throwing all the candy and gum onto the conveyor belt, is an aerobic exercise. This is why Daddy gets lists texted to him almost daily.

But anyway, it took over an hour to get them all dressed, milked/formulaed, pancakes microwaved, shoes found (didn't even wear them,) and into their carseats. I let the dog come in the hopes he would eat all the old pretzels, pancakes, and cereal off the car floor, but apparently he was full off the bowl of cat food he ate right before leaving. All in all, it took 2 hours to do something that should have taken 20 minutes.

And they haven't even pooped yet.

And I found a stash of diapers in a backpack.

I left the house for nothing and used half a day doing it. Good news is, I didn't get sucked into the Target Trap. I got out of there for less than $35.

It's the little things.

Field Trip!

Yesterday was a big day for us, we went to Fenway for a Red Sox game, and made it home with as many as we left with! And then some, actually since my sister and her friend were going to miss their train, and got a ride back with us.

I'm always so nervous about taking Baduka anywhere without a fence, gate, door with combination locks, etc. He's just so fast and I've never been the running type. But we had the tickets and we were going back and forth about babysitters, just Daddy going with friends, just me going with friends, or taking the maniacs. Then we realized we don't actually have enough friends, and had no choice but to have a Family Field Trip. My stepfather and sister joined us, we had five tickets and we only needed three, Dizzy got in free. My mom kept the New Kid, because we aren't that crazy.

And it was good! Granted, I didn't watch a single minute of it. I didn't even know it was the last inning, because I thought I heard "Sweet Caroline" and that happens in the seventh, right? But then everyone was packing up and I was still trying to get a family picture in front of the field.

Dizzy slept through a majority of the game, thank goodness for cheap umbrella strollers! And Baduka had us take him on many walks for Swedish Fish. The $7.50 was worth the few minutes he sat. I even got some cute pictures of him leaning against the fence watching the players in the bullpen (until yesterday I didn't even know what a bullpen was.)

When we got the tickets, I was mad at Daddy for wanting to go with friends, because I thought we should take the boys. Then I was mad at myself for wanting to take the boys. Girls right?! Can never make up their freakin' minds! But crowds scare me. I'm terrified of that two seconds. That two seconds, where someone's entire world can change. Daddy says we need to break out of our Autism Bubble a little more, because it's not fair to the other two, and I know he's right. So days like yesterday are even more amazing. We had fun, we rode the T, we ate Swedish Fish. No crying, no panicking, not even a poop!

It was a pretty fantastic field trip!

TGIF!

This week feels like it should have ended 3 days ago. My goodness its been a rough one. I'm trying to just get through today without my head exploding, and then hopefully we can have fun this weekend.

Every morning, I drop off Baduka at school, and park as close as possible, so I can leave the other two in the car. Bad parenting? Maybe, but half the time Dizzy and the New Kid aren't even wearing pants. And parents aren't even allowed in the building, unless it's raining, so I see the car the whole 5 minutes. Days like today, I am most definitely leaving them in the car. We were running late, it's raining, Dizzy still needed to be changed from waking up, the New Kid didn't have a bottle yet, blahblahblah. Apparently today, I wasn't the only one having a less than perfect Friday. And yes, I may have parked in not the best spot, but the mother that was determined to let me know it, maybe could have taken it down a few notches. In the time it took for her to repeatedly tell me to never park there "EVER again, UNDERSTAND?" I coulda been halfway down the street. I hope her day got better, because that was at 8:30. It takes a long time to get from there, til it's 5 o'clock somewhere, and she can finally relax.

What really bothered me about the whole thing was, how she seemed determined to start a yelling match. Umm, we were in the school yard. I don't think its necessary to go on a rampage in front of little kids aged 3 and up. I mean, I guess most of them were already in the building, but still? Isn't that more damaging than me parking for 5 minutes, and blocking the driveway to the teachers' spaces? I see her point, that it could be a hazard in a fire, but it's not like the building was sending up smoke signals. The teachers who get the kids off the school vans saw me park, and didn't even say anything. Just makes me wonder if this is how she treats everyone when she thinks/knows she's right?

I have enough things to worry about, so I just kept saying okay, I'm moving, okay, I'm leaving, because honestly this wasn't something I was willing to get into. I hope that was the only time I had to "pick my battle" with her.

My type of girl?

Yesterday we spent the day at my mom's for my sister's baby shower, which means the maniacs ate mostly cake, and the occasional bite of chicken. By the time we got home, they were filthy and exhausted, so it was baths, a snack, and bed. Why was I surprised that Dizzy was up moan-cry-whining at 2:30? I was practically begging him to stop. An extra cup of milk, a nutri-grain bar, a peanut butter sandwich, and Curious George 2 finally got that kid to sleep at 5ish.

He slept the entire ride to Baduka's school. Bastard.

Which brings me to the point of my story. I don't make a long story short even in blog form haha. There's a mom of twin boys that I talk to at the drop off and pick up. One of her twins is in Baduka's class, and so she keeps hinting at playdates. While she seems nice and all, she doesn't seem "my type," so I decided to try talking to her like I would to one of my already friends, with a somewhat tame conversation starter. It went like this:

Me: "Ugh, I wanna throw myself under a bus today."
Her: "What?! You almost got in an accident with a bus??"
Me: "No, I'm so tired, I was woken up at 2:30, I want to THROW myself under a bus..."
Her: "Oh, don't do that!"

I'm pretty sure I don't want to spend my days explaining all the ridiculous, inappropriate, sarcastic, obnoxiousness that comes out of my mouth though, so really? Do I need a new friend?

Probably not.

perfect moments

Just a quick one...

This morning we were all being lazy, hanging out on the bed. The New Kid was drinking a bottle, Dizzy was running cars over my legs and feet, with the occasional bashing to the stomach. Baduka was up cuddling with me and singing No More Monkeys and making us laugh, when Daddy looked at my arms.

Daddy: "What happened to you?!"
Me: "Huh?"
Daddy: "Where did you get those little bruises?"
Me: "Oh, well, I get kicked, hit, poked, punched, jumped on, jumped off, all day--"
Baduka: "Alllllll dayyyy longggggg..."

He may not say much, but when he does, his timing is impeccable.

The Brightside, I'm looking for it

The past week has been pretty blah-ohhh with my back hurting, and this stupid heat, and my random surprise ticket today, so I think I need a list of things that don't stink.

Here goes:

* The New Kid waves hi, and does this lip-smacking mouth thing almost every time you look at him, and I love the crap out of it.

* Dizzy has been saying words during the day, and it is so freaking exciting. Today, I was giving the New Kid his bottle, and Dizzy said, "YUM!" This may not seem like much to most people, but for three years the only kid talk in this house has been repeated, and not on its own, for the most part.

* Baduka has had great school days. His teacher told me he even had a dance party, with his friend, during choice time the other day. She says there's a video, but that remains to be seen.

* Me and Daddy have lived together for 4 years and 1 day today. He says he's not sick of me yet either!

* The dirty laundry pile is way smaller than the clean. That's a big deal.

Well, not the longest, most exciting list, but at least it's something.

Huh, what?

Autism is confusing. Having a regular kid is hard enough, but one with the added bonus of autism, makes you really wonder what you're doing ALL THE TIME.

There's books, and websites, and therapies, and diets, and phone calls you have to make, like yesterday. When Baduka was in Early Intervention, it didn't seem that hard, because I asked his case worker all the questions, and he magically had the answers. It was a great system. Then Baduka just had to turn 3, and I'm on my own. I hate the phone. No one answers emails. I would text someone, but apparently that's not acceptable. Autism diagnoses should come with a fairy godmother. The doctor writes a prescription, you click your heels 3 times, and the fairy godmother appears, to make all the coffee and drinks you need to get through some days, and make the phone calls, and answer the questions you have.

And my questions are just ridiculous ones, because I don't even know what kind of questions I'm supposed to be asking. So mine are:

"How do I make him stop pushing Dizzy?" The answer isn't, put him in his room, with an open window, like I did yesterday. Because he will climb through his screen and land in his sandbox.

"How do I make him stop chewing food, then dropping it out of his mouth, onto the floor?" Because, yes the dog enjoys it, but it's gross and super annoying.

"How do I actually use a communication book with him?" Because I've cut, laminated, and velcroed, but really? Now what?

Or these:

"Why does he smash poop into the floor?"
"Why does he hate storage options, such as, tables, shelves, closets, and cabinets?"
"Why does he need all the lights on?" We aren't married to Edison, as my Nana used to say.
"Why does he only like to hold candy til it melts?"
"Why does he have to slam all doors closed?"
"Why does he hide in the closet to eat things?" I get that it's not completely normal to steal cheese out of the fridge, and eat half a pound of it, but hiding in the closet, just looks even more suspicious.

For the most part, Baduka is just like Dizzy and the New Kid, this has just been a long week of phone calls, and "why are you doing thats?!"

I need a nap.

wake up late, make new friends

My phone has one volume for all the things in it- ringer, texts, games, THE ALARM CLOCK, etc. So this morning, we were late because I turned it wayyy down to play Bubble Star last night, and that music is annoying. Like, up with 15 minutes til I like to get in the car, kinda late. Got Baduka up, got pancakes in the microwave, lunch made, cups washed, a bottle made, and Baduka dressed within 10 minutes. All that I usually accomplish in an hour, I work better in a panic, I guess.

Pancakes and a bottle were eaten in the car. Dizzy was woken up at the last possible second, so he still probably has no idea what happened.

Of course, we got to school before almost everyone else. There was one school van sitting at the sidewalk. And a mom with her two kids in the yard part in front of the door. They were chasing each other and playing tag. Usually I have a firm grip on Baduka's hand, while we wait for his teacher to come out, and I have been letting go only for him to sit on the bench with his class. Today he was so excited to see the kids running around, that I let him run too.

It was nice to be able to chat with another mom with a kid on the spectrum, one who knows what I'm just starting to go through with school. Her son is a little bit older and her daughter is a "regular" kid. I liked seeing how well those two got along, it gave me hope that the best boys will eventually like each other too. That hopefully the pushing and face shoves can just be called Tag.

Baduka went into school, ready to learn with grass stained knees, a bumped head, and a pancake in each hand. I went home smiling, while remembering his backpack bobbing, a pancake in each hand, laughing and giggling, because I'm learning to let him be a "regular" kid.

Dizzy, Dizzy, Dizzy

Today Dizzy has definitely lived up to his nickname. He has been crazy since we dropped off Baduka at school.

It started off with him stealing the New Kid's pancakes, then stealing my waffle. It was pretty upsetting since it was the last Coconut Chocolate Chip one from the freezer, and we are out of coconut.

Then, he kept launching his chocolate covered face at my thigh in a 32 pound hug, and let's be serious, I'm probably not changing these pants before we go back to pick up Baduka.

Then, I found him in the laundry closet, helping. He helped by putting everything on top of the dryer into the dryer. Awesome.

Then, he pooped his pants and made me chase him down to change him, which is exactly what I wanted to do. I needed the exercise.

But so far, the highlight of the morning was just now, when I went to see why he was so quiet. He was sitting on his hippo chair, surrounded by books, quietly eating a crayon, after coloring his foot blue.

Coffee, please? Unless you have rum?

My favorite mom

With Sunday being Mother's Day, I want to tell you about my mom. Growing up she was always pretty easy to get along with, as long as you let her sleep, didn't touch her Pepsi (she outgrew that,) brought her home a coffee, and didn't mind answering the same questions about where you were going over and over. I swear I would tell her I'm going to CVS, go to my room for something, come back, and again tell her I was going to CVS. But she always said, "Be good. Have fun. I love you," no matter where I was going. She is the best Christmas stocking and Easter basket stuffer, ever. Seriously, it still boggles my mind how she gets it all in there.

But it took me having kids to see how truly awesome she really is. She has 5 grandsons, as of this moment, and she treats them like they are the only kids on Earth. I bet if they all talked, and you asked each one who Nana's favorite is, they would all answer "ME!" She spoils them all equally, but it's the way she has treated Baduka's diagnosis that makes me love her even more.

Most blogs by parents of autistic children always complain that the grandparents and other people just don't support them, which just makes a crappy situation even worse. Not my mom. Since the day I told her I thought he had autism, she has ordered books, toys, posters, puzzles and games for him. Amazon must love her. She filled her sandbox with dried rice, instead of sand, because he likes it better. She let's him rearrange her house, because he doesn't like change. She is always crying at his achievements, always his cheerleader.

Last week, I told her I wanted to make him a PECS book, and she googled and amazoned, and the next day, texted that she had ordered him a set of communication picture cards. When I thanked her through my tears, she said, "Don't make me cry, I just want what's best for my grandsons, I just try to make it easier for you and (Daddy), I love those little boys and will do everything I can." They came in today, and she said they also make a set of sign language cards that she was thinking of ordering. I told her she didn't need to do that. Her response? "I want to, I've been wanting to learn it too. There's a guy at work who's deaf and I try to understand him."

Not only is she trying to make life easier for us, she is also thinking of people she works with. Which shouldn't surprise me, she has invited a few coworkers home for Thanksgiving and Christmas for the past few years, because they don't have anywhere to go. It amazes me how amazing she is.

Lots of people don't want to end up like their mothers, I hope everyday that I do.

Brothers Annoying and Obnoxious McCrazypants

These maniacs took their extra dose of "Let's Do Everything That Makes Her Crazy" pills today.

Both Baduka and Dizzy, have decided to do whatever they can to make me wish Daddy were home, but he's at a bowling thing, with awards, and drinking. LUCKY HIM!

While he is off doing that, I have the pleasure of picking everything up off the floor, repeatedly. Why must they clean the kitchen table by messing up the kitchen floor? Is it to make standing on the table eating easier? Because that's how Dizzy eats every meal.

Oh, and why did Dizzy just put 3 water bottles in the toaster oven? Why did Baduka turn it on first? Seriously, that ticking timer is constant kitchen background noise.

Why does Baduka insist on standing on anything he can, to get closer to the TV? ESPECIALLY after last week's super successful attempt at scaling Mount Dresser?! The kid took the entire thing down and still goes back for more, while I'm still shaking.

What is their obsession with the bathroom? If our hot water didn't come out at the temperature, Surface of the Sun, I wouldn't care that they wanted to wash their hands 452 times a day, but being on constant you're gonna burn yourself, thats hot,hot,hot watch is exhausting. Especially, when the only warning that they think their hands are dirty is the click of the door being closed, and the toilet seat being slammed down. And there is almost always a toilet paper roll soaking in the toilet.

They have been off the walls crazy, but at least the New Kid is napping. He can be my favorite today.

short stories

Just a few things from this week...

* Monday was the first day me, Dizzy, and the New Kid walked to pick Baduka up from school. I completely misjudged the time it would take to walk a mile, so yup, I was the creepy mom watching recess outside the gate. I'm not sure why I thought I needed an hour and a half, and then was shocked to get there in 22 minutes. It was kinda nice to see him running around though.

* His teacher says he has great days, and it has been an easy transition, and I crave more details. Thats normal, right? I wanna grab her and be like, "Listen, lady, I take him home and he smells like your perfume til tubby time, so you tell me EXACTLY every detail of his day. How many bites of lunch was it?!" But I'm trying to downplay the crazy, so I just smile and say non-creeptastic things, like "Thanks!"  and "He's awesome!" and "See you tomorrow!"

* I'm pretty sure Dizzy had his first official panic attack, and it was definitely my fault. I put him and the New Kid in the stroller, then realized the car was parked in my way of getting out of the driveway, so I got in and started the car to move it up a few feet, while waving and saying, "Bye! See ya later!" He instantly burst into tears. Hopefully, he headbutts that memory right out of his giant head.

* The New Kid has been on the move. He is an army crawling pro and I'm just hoping he never learns the sport of climbing the walls. Two monkeys are enough.

* Potty training is too hard and I want to give it up. Baduka knows the how, but the why, when, and where is still a little difficult for him to understand. But since he insists Naked is AWESOME, I'm saving diapers, but wasting paper towels, wiping pee from every floor in the house. They make adult diapers for a reason, right?

Well, my coffee cup is empty, and it's suspiciously quiet in the other room, time to check and see if my dream of Family Naptime came true... Fingers crossed!

A Party

Yesterday we went to a birthday party. We have gone to many birthday parties in the past 3 years, but this one was different. We have been to indoor playground parties. We have been to parties with bounce houses. We have been to regular cake and ice cream in the kitchen parties. All of these parties involve Baduka being so very obviously, the odd kid. At indoor playgrounds, he pushes around the one Little Tikes Cozy Coupe they have. At bounce houses, he pushes around the one Little Tikes Cozy Coupe they have. At regular cake and ice cream in the kitchen parties, he finds a mirror, or the families cat.

The point is, he doesn't join in. He doesn't play with the other kids. He doesn't care about the cake (the frosting is a different story,) the presents, or the fun. It always makes me sad. No one wants to see a 3 year old, by himself in the corner of a house, while everyone else is having a party.

Yesterday's party was different. It was in our friend's backyard/kitchen. There was a bounce house set up. There were kids all over the place. Baduka jumped in the bounce house and LOVED it. He played with the kids. When they moved on to the next activity, so did he. He "sang" Happy Birthday, and tried to blow out the candles from across the room. He was the most "normal" I have ever seen him.

But my favorite part had to have been the dance party in the TV room. My friend blasted music and turned on a light machine, and the kids danced and laughed, while red and green lights twirled around the room. Why was this my favorite part? Because HE danced and laughed, too. He joined in and had fun. He smiled so big. Just thinking about it makes me tear up.

Sure, there were normal for Baduka parts to the day, too. He thought it was hilarious to hide in their shed, and pop out laughing, after many minutes of standing in the dark. He ran around screeching. He popped a balloon, and repeatedly handed it to me, expecting me to fix it. He only ate frosting. He tried to figure out what the red and green dots around the room were, and where they were coming from.  But that's okay, because for the first time since his autism diagnosis, I left a party with memories of him being just like everyone else.

Those other two

We just got in from picking up Baduka from school. His teacher said his second day was awesome! He actually sat in a group for circle time, which is a SUPER BIG DEAL! And he also is that kid who brings a lunch, but steals everyone else's. Not a surprise. Dinner around here is always musical plates.

In this house, Baduka gets a lot of attention, we like the other two, I promise, but between therapy and Early Intervention, most of our days were spent on him. So it was kind of nice to witness the friendship Dizzy and the New Kid have, without having Baduka being the attention hog, right before we left to go pick him up. I had washed Dizzy's blanket and the New Kid's dog today, and put the blankie in the dryer and the dog on top of the washer to dry, so it didn't get the weird, "I've been washed" bumpiness. Then put the New Kid in his carseat, and went to pee before we left. I heard the New Kid kinda cry, then stop in a happy way. I came into the kitchen to see Dizzy handing his dog to him and then kissing his cheek. These kids and their freaking adorableness!

So yeah, I thought school was gonna make me a giant crybaby, I didn't think it was gonna be so many happy tears though. Not complaining at all :)

First Day

So, we survived Day 1 of school for Baduka. It wasn't as traumatic as I feared.  He woke up and had Naked Breakfast, which he totally earned, since he went to bed naked and woke up dry, and then peed on the potty! Dizzy, on the other hand, went to bed fully clothed and diapered, and practically swam out of bed this morning. Which didn't make him exactly cheerful.

Got him dressed, brushed, pictured and out the door, almost on time and everything. Got to school and waited for all the kids to get there, then he was tricked into holding hands with a teacher and another kid in his class, and I cried back to the car.

Dizzy was still the devil when we got home and got put on a timeout nap. Papa was here, and although everyone who has ever met Frankie, has wanted to throw stuff at him, Dizzy actually did. A full milk cup, a rubber spatula, toys, a book... I think I put him on timeout because he cut the line of family members waiting to throw stuff, haha!

Since I was practically kid free, I really lived it up! I washed dishes, did some laundry, and made 42 pancakes. Legit, 42. Banana and butternut squash. So good!  And then I counted down the minutes (hours) to go pick up Baduka.

Picking him up was probably the highlight of my day. He ran to me, gave me a hug, and was so happy to see Dizzy and the New Kid, he HUGE SMILED, and KISSED Dizzy on the cheek. Way to make me cry twice in one day.

But the love was short-lived. Baduka rubbed that kiss in with a face shove, when Dizzy tried to touch his lunchbox. Ahh, brothers.

sad and angry

I started this blog to write about the crazy hilarity living with 3 boys under 3 brings to my life, but today I am too sad and angry. This world is such a scary place to live in lately and it's not fair. It's not fair that people can't enjoy their families, friends, and lives without worrying about whether or not they will make it back home. My mom never had to worry about us going to school, or the movies, or an event. The biggest fear she had was whether we would choke on our steak at dinner, so yes, she did still cut mine til high school. She used to send us to the convenience store BY OURSELVES all the time, with a list that usually started with Milk, Bread, Eggs, Butter ( sidenote- my grocery lists almost always start the same. ) I don't even trust letting the boys on the backporch. It makes me sad for our kids. They will never have the carefree "in or out, just go play!" kind of childhood we had. They will never have the memories that you make, when your parents aren't watching you like hawks. Days like yesterday didn't happen, and they certainly didn't happen every few months. I joke that 3 kids have turned me into a hermit, but at least at home in my bubble, I'm not constantly on guard. I get to joke and play. I feel bad for my kids, because I want to hoard them. I never want to be without them. Family members want to take them to give us a break from their insanity, and I don't take them up on their offers that much. It's not fair to them, the boys or us, but I can't help the fear I feel at the thought of them leaving our shoebox, and being in the big, scary world, without us. My parents were divorced, so most weekends my sister and I stayed at my grandparents' house, where our dad lived, but one aunt or another was always taking us somewhere. Or our dad, being who he was, would hand us some money and we would walk to Davis Square. We would go to Osco Drug and buy fake nails, then take the long way home. We didn't have cell phones. We had a quarter in our pockets, to call home if we were going to be a little longer than expected. We were 8. Now I worry when Daddy goes somewhere with the boys, and I don't. I never thought when I had babies I would feel like that. I guess I never thought I would have to.

what did you say?

Being home alone with the best boys means I talk to myself all day. Yes, I try talking to them, but they are terrible conversationalists. I've realized I could probably record everything I say all day, and play it on a continuous loop, and it would apply to everything they are currently doing. Here's some examples:

* Why are you doing that??

* Stop climbing that!

* Can't you just sit down for 5 minutes?!

* I think you stink.

* Did you poop?

* I think you pooped.

* Are you sure you didn't poop?

* Needa snack?

* Stop dumping the froot loops on the couch, Daddy will have to vacuum.

* Want milk? Moooore milk?

* I need more coffee.

* You guys are driving me to drink!

* What does a monkey say?

* Wanna watch a movie?

* Where is your father?!

* Naptime??

* You're probably fine.

* Get off the table!

* Why did you take the pictures off the wall?

* This is why we can't have nice things!

And the number one thing I say all day...

* Why are you NAKED?!

frosting hangover

Yesterday the New Kid turned 6 months old. That's a big deal in our family, so we always celebrate with dinner and cake. We had some family over, and everyone ate hamburgers, turkey burgers, crispy crowns (the better tater tot) and cake. Everyone, that is, but Baduka. He ate frosting. Lots of it. He was stealing it off plates, and the cake platter. And while Dizzy had his fair share, he at least ate some crispy crowns to absorb some of that sugar.

After everyone left, I even heard the kitchen chair being dragged to the counter, where he carefully got the cake platter down, and placed it gently on the kitchen table. Then the two demon children ate frosting, while I took pictures, because seriously it was really freaking cute.

After all that sugar you'd think bedtime would be a problem. Nope. Dizzy went right in with his blankie and cup. His cup was empty, he just wanted to hold it. Baduka put himself to bed, I actually had to change his diaper while he was sleeping, to avoid a pee explosion.

If only pee was what I had to clean up. At 5am I hear him kinda whimper crying, which isn't totally unusual for him, so I went in to get him to prevent him from fully waking up and turning the light on. I walked in to a crying Baduka, covered head to toe, in blue frosting vomit.

A week of firsts in this house. His first grown up, too much of a good thing, puking.

Some things.

What an emotional roller coaster week around here. Baduka turned 3 on Sunday, New Kid turned 6 months today, Dizzy got his first "whiffle", Baduka has his first practice day of school tomorrow. I will have my first open sob on a playground, since probably elementary school, so that should be exciting.

I really can't believe sometimes that I've been a mom for 3 years. It flew by, and most days are so crazy, I barely know what happened. I decided that I would try to remember some things I've learned up to this point, so in no particular order, here goes:

* Babies are cute and cuddly and gross. Seriously, we have had more poop explosions than you even know.

* Once you decide to do something once, you better be ready to commit to doing it 1,000 times, because BABIES FORGET NOTHING! Seriously, you think they don't pay much attention, but let them play with your phone, just that one time in the grocery store, and all of a sudden they have more apps than you do.

* Baduka has learned to climb in, out, over, and under everything made to prevent escape. Babies are made of Houdini and Spiderman.

* Once they know, you know, they love a certain food, it becomes disgusting and they MUST fling it or feed it to the dog. Fingers crossed peanut butter never enters this territory or the best boys will starve to death.

* When you first get pregnant, and someone throws you a baby shower, don't register for anything besides diapers and wipes. Seriously, I still have a bottle warmer and a baby food puree-er somewhere in the box. Babies aren't that complicated. Or materialistic.

* Don't forget to stay friends with Daddy. Put the kids away at night with enough time to watch your favorite show and drink a drink.

* When you put them in for a nap or bedtime, and you hear every toy from the toybox finally not being thrown off the top bunk, and you think "yeah, they're totally dreaming by now," they're usually not. We fall for it every night when we go in to turn off the lights and check blankets. Baduka usually pops his adorable little head out from the blankets and turns the light back on, and Dizzy follows me out to watch House reruns.

* They think everything is a game. I don't even bother yelling at them for the most part. Because they laugh hysterically. And I guess the things they do at 3, 2, and 6 months isn't serious enough for yelling anyway, so just have fun instead. Yell when they are old.

* When they are doing something to drive you absolutely insane, is also when they usually surprise you with a sloppy kiss. Dizzy is famous for this. Its usually followed by a headbutt that makes you say bad words.

* Take LOTS of pictures. They change by the day and you don't want to forget. Looking back at the pictures in my phone, sometimes I'm shocked by how different they were just last week.

* Everyday, while giving them a big hug, I whisper in their ear, "you're my favorite, don't tell the others." I like to think that someday they will remember it and know how much I love them.

* Watching your babies grow is the saddest and bestest thing you'll ever experience. They are crazy, and cute, and do things that make you wonder how you haven't lost your mind yet, but you look at their little faces, and fall more in love every single time.

As you can see I haven't learned much, but I got some time.

Late night fun :)

Last night I had a Target date with my favorite redhead. So as soon as dinner and bath time was done, I was throwing myself out the door to get as much time as possible, looking ridiculously bad in public. Honestly, why do I think its perfectly acceptable to leave the house in holey sweatpants and greasy hair, as long as its after 8pm? And I went to TARGET, not even Walmart where I would have made it onto a website.

Anyway, 3 hours and 71 dollars later, because I only went for toothpaste and sippy cups, but bought everything else, I returned home.

The living room light was off, so I thought, "great, the best boys are probably sleeping. I can shower and put laundry away before going to bed." Uh, nope, no I can't. I walked in and hear Dizzy dumping cars into buckets, his favorite stay up late activity. I think not so bad, he's usually up late anyway. I go in to put him back in bed and find Baduka naked, Dizzy half naked and toys, diapers and ripped up pieces of foam they found in a jewelry box everywhere. Awesome. Hahaha, then as I'm dressing them, the New Kid starts crying his, "I'm gonna starve to death" cry. Great. There goes my shower and laundry time.

You may be asking yourself, "where's Daddy?"

Asleep on the couch. At least someone follows their bedtime around here.

Sometimes Glass Smashes.

Today can start over at any point now. About 15 seconds after I dropped the phone I replaced my broken one with smashing the screen (seriously, glass?? WHY?!) the New Kid started crying in the other room. As I went in to get him, the other two maniacs threw one of my FAVORITE glasses to the floor.

 I LOVED my Fiona glass from McDonald's (Burger King?) so very much. And while, yes, I do in fact have a Shrek and a Donkey, I had an attachment to Fiona. Damn kids.

This means at last count they have broken 2 Shrek themed McDonald's (Burger King?) glasses, 3 Starbucks super expensive ceramic travel cups with awesome slidy close, no taste plastic covers, and a giant coffee mug that held the perfect amount of coffee, that I have yet to be able to replace. Why do I let them out of their room?

Oh, right. Because when they are alone too long, they get naked and pee on things.

poop.

This weekend was kinda boring and quiet. I made a cake on Saturday, and that was as exciting as it got. So, you know the maniacs had to shake up my Monday morning.

They woke up as usual, Dizzy sleepily wandering around with his blankie, looking like he wished he was still sleeping, but that's impossible when Baduka is your brother. Because Baduka turns every morning into a lit up, naked fest. I hear him every day "talking" to himself. The usual "ticka-ticka-tickas" and ABC's followed by the sounds of his pajamas hitting the floor, then nighttime-pee-filled-size-6-diapers. Then he comes down the ladder and turns on the light. Who would sleep through that? Not Dizzy, usually.

So, I let them out of their room and started the morning routine of milk, and breakfast, and trying to clothe the maniac.

Apparently, the New Kid was feeling a little left out, because he then pooped out of his pajamas onto our bed. Great, I wanted to wash sheets today, really. Cleaned him up, stripped the beds, got the washer going.

The Lizard felt a bit left out, she pooped a poop bigger and smellier than the New Kid's. Great, I wanted to smell lizard butt all day, really.

While, that was being cleaned (not by me), the New Kid decided he wasn't done. He pooped out of his diaper down his leg and up his back. Great, I wanted to have mid-morning tubby-time, really.

During all of this, Baduka's behavioral therapist showed up for her 3 hour hang-out. She was nice enough to say she didn't notice the smell(s), but I'm pretty sure she's just a polite liar.

Moral of this story: Everybody poops, and it's never pretty.

Picture This

Baduka spends a lot of time naked. A LOT of time. But I'm trying to work it into potty training, so approximately every 48 seconds, I yell, "Needa pee?!" Sometimes he shakes his head, others he runs to the toilet. We haven't wiped any pee off the floor, and he pooped on the potty today, so I'm not giving up hope yet. But he's soooo weird. Me and Dizzy, sitting in the kitchen, he's "drawing" and I'm silently praying the UPS truck stops taking its sweet time with my phone battery, when in GALLOPS Baduka, with no pants on, no underwear, onesie tail bobbing, and him holding himself, with a huge smile on his face, making crazy noises. Me and Dizzy just looked at each other, shook our heads, and carried on.

I experience at least one weird thing a day with these whackos.

Being a Baby, Not As Easy As It Sounds

I've spent almost every hour of these boys lives with them. It's part of why I'm crazy, I think, but I just think they are pretty freaking fantastic, so I don't like to leave them. Weird, huh? Anyway, watching them all these days, I think it's pretty safe to say it must be wicked annoying being a baby. I have a few reasons...

1. New Kid woke up today, not because he was done sleeping, (obviously, because he then spent the next 2 hours with a grump on his face,) but because he had pooped his pants. If the reason why I woke up most days was because I crapped myself, I'd be pretty mad til naptime too.

2. Kids fall down a lot. Dizzy cannot, for the life of him, make it across the room without falling. At least twice. It's like he's been drinking. He really might be his mother's son.

3. They eat the same things over, and over, and over again. Baduka pretty much gets by on finger scrapings of the peanut butter off his bread and baggies of froot loops. But he doesn't know how to ask for anything else and I hate wasting food. Sorry boys.

4. They cry, and it's a guessing game as to why, when they are the New Kid's age... "Oh you're crying, are you hungry? Did you pee? Do you want me to bop this toy off your face a few times?"

5. They become puppets. Seriously, they learn a new word or action, and all of a sudden the only thing a parent knows how to say is, "Do it AGAIN!!" No wonder why Baduka lives in his own world. He does something and he doesn't care who is impressed by it, he won't do it again til he's ready, and there's not a person or camera in sight.

6. Dizzy is the middle kid. Watching him, I know why people hate being that kid. The oldest gets what he wants, and the youngest probably pooped himself, so really there's not too many hours left in the day to do what the middle one wants. I think thats why he learned the gimme-gimme hands as fast as he did. There's not an adult alive who can resist that. Its too adorable. But watch out, sometimes as soon as you pick him up, he lands a headbutt right between your eyes. Probably deserved, next time pay attention to him.

There's probably a lot more reasons, but I hear dangerous sounds from the other room.

Battery, shmattery.

Last night my phone battery decided to officially give up. No matter what charger I tried it wasn't going to give me even one more day. A call to Verizon and we were informed that, yes, I do have a warranty on the phone, but that doesn't cover the battery, and yes, my contract is for 2 years, but my phone is really old, so they don't even stock them anymore. My upgrade is in 4 weeks, and no, they won't allow an early upgrade to a not really old phone. Also, call a battery store. Stupid Verizon. With its stupid, better than everyone else's coverage and stupid, horrible customer service. So, yeah, Amazon had one and I won't have a phone for 1-3 Expedited Business Days.

Reasons why this is annoying--
1. Home alone with 3 maniacs all day, this is my outlet, to status updates, Pinterest, and Words with Friends.
2. What if these maniacs break their giant heads jumping off stuff they have no business climbing anyway?? I don't know if screaming 911 is an actual method of getting help.
3. I text Daddy about a billion times a day, adding to shopping lists, so he can just forget what I listed anyway, and come home with only some of it. How am I going to do that now?
4. I think I had to call someone today. Seriously, I can't remember if this is actually true, but it could be.
5. You KNOW these kids are going to be perfect, smily angels for the next 1-3 Expedited Business Days and I won't be able to have photographic evidence of it to send to people.

Technology stinks, where's my house phone?

What Time Is It?

I'm a firm believer in "No baby is cute between the hours of midnight and 8a.m.," even my own precious babies. So, when Baduka woke up and escaped his room at 4a.m., I dragged him back in there kicking and screaming. I wasn't messing around, he may be cute from 8:01a.m. on to 11:59p.m., but at that point he turns into, "Who's kid ARE you, anyway?!" He turned his light on and climbed in bed, apparently he's afraid of the dark. We all fell back to sweet, glorious sleep for a few more hours.

 I went in at 7 to turn the light off, and there was Dizzy, staring up at me from his toy pile, dangerously close to dumping cars all over the place. He gave me a smile and although it wasn't in the time frame, it was adorable and I was up to bake, so I let him follow me around for a bit. I finally got him settled back in bed though, with a cup of milk.

That's when the New Kid was made aware of the fact that he may be a little hungry. So he made that little hungry noise. I got his bottle and at that point he was teetering on the edge of Little Hungry Noise and Dying of Starvation-so-I'm-going-to-use-my-remaining-energy-screaming-the-house-awake-cry. Anybody else agree that babies need a better warning system? He's a baby of the 2012's, why can't he text his order of 7 ounces, room temperature, shaken, instead of losing his mind? That feature must come with the upgrade...

The point of all this is, coffee please?!

This may or may not have happened...

I'm pretty sure the maniacs just "silently" plotted against me... It may have gone as follows--

Dizzy: Okay, I'm gonna sit in the top bunk, where she knows I can't get down from and make her think she only has you two to entertain...

Baduka: Yeah, and while you're up there, slowly start dumping that bag of cereal down the wall, onto the floor, where she NEVER sweeps. And then New Kid, this is where you come in, start screaming for a bottle... Yeah, we know you just had one, don't worry, that'll give you something to vomit when she puts clean clothes on you later.

New Kid: Okay-- AHHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHH! AH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Dizzy: Now, Baduka, GET NAKED!


I haven't even had coffee yet.

I'm back?

Why, hello. Haha, I don't know why I haven't written down any of the crazy in the past month. But I don't know why I'm shocked either... Every diary I ever had started with--
      
         January 1st 1993
         Dear Diary,
         I got you for Christmas and I'm gonna write in you everyday!!


         January 2nd 1993
         Dear Diary,
         Something, something, something...


         March 23rd 1996
         Dear Diary,
         I'm bad at this.

Hahaha, but looking back, I wasn't that entertaining anyway.

The past month has been a lot of furniture moving, organizing, and cleaning. Yet this place still feels like the abandoned home of a hoarder. Except we live in it. And the maniacs try to rearrange furniture constantly. And wipe poop on it. Oh well. In our next life maybe we will aim for a bigger than a shoebox sized apartment.

In other news, Baduka has made AHHHHH-MAZING progress with his new therapists. There's hope for our biggest best boy! Dizzy is learning to climb the walls and following in his big brother's crazy footsteps, and the New Kid is taking it all in. We are in for it, my mantra has become "they're lucky they're cute... they're lucky they're cute... they're lucky they're cute..."

Just Another Saturday Morning...

Sitting here while the maniacs and Daddy are still sleeping, waiting for cupcakes to finish baking, I figured I'd catch up on the week...
Nothing too crazy happened for the most part, Baduka did spend all of yesterday naked trying to "hide" under blankets. I really don't know how to keep that boy dressed haha. We had a school meeting since he will be starting in April and they asked us to describe him... it went something like this:

"He likes to be naked... Good Luck."
"He plays with his poop... Good Luck."
"He climbs EVERYTHING... Good Luck."
"He doesn't have a sense of fear... Good Luck."

It continued on in much that same way for a few minutes. So, that should be exciting, hahaha. He's lucky he's cute.
To get over the fact that my baby is going to school at the so small age of 3, I thought drinking a bottle of Skinny Girl Sangria would be the best idea ever. My head this morning disagrees, but I did kick Daddy's butt in Scrabble, so it must not have affected me too much. Ahhh, Friday nights sure have changed...

Bedtime, yet?

I just poured my 4th cup of coffee since 10 o'clock this morning, and I don't think any of it has helped. The boys have been crazy for most of the day, with little pockets of silence, thank goodness. Baduka woke up at around 2:45AM and after getting him back to bed I just laid there, too tired to sleep. I hate that! And then had those moments, where you feel like you're drifting off, and of course, your husband snores so loudly, you think he may be gasping for his last breath. Why did I agree to sharing a room?? I remember pre-marriage LOVING my own space! Why on Earth would I voluntarily give that up? Oh, right, because he's cute, haha. By the time I fell asleep again, Daddy's alarm was going off and I was back at it...
Anyway, in the time that Dizzy napped, and the New Kid drank a bottle, I made salt dough Valentine's ornaments for them to paint this week. I also blew bubbles and played pegs with Baduka, and researched the advantages of weighted blankets calming temper tantrums from an autistic kid. Baduka was diagnosed officially in November, but I unofficially diagnosed him before he was a year old. I swear though, he may have gotten some sort of memo that its official, so he's been crazier than usual. Ugh, doesn't help with my exhaustion today...

Dear Internet, January 19th

I've decided to start a blog, because really, why not? I am the mother of 3 maniacs and my life revolves around them, but sometimes they make me crazy and I need a place to tell the world about the crazy they bring to our life. Our oldest son is almost 3 (no idea how that happened, also I said oldest, told you I'm crazy), we'll call him Baduka. Then there is Dizzy, he's 18 months. Finally, there's the 3 month old New Kid. He doesn't have a nickname yet that represents him, we'll revisit that later, haha.
Today was spent at a friend's house for a birthday party, which means I stopped Baduka from grabbing the cake about 147 times and Dizzy car-napped on the way there, so he spent the first hour and a half clinging to Daddy. FUN! Ha! The New Kid got passed around between all the girls in the house, it was like we went back in time to when we only had 2 demons, you know 3 months ago, when I just waddled and cried about not being able to drink :) AHHH! Memories! Someday I know we will look back on the insanity they bring and be sad that they grew up too fast. Hell, I do that now, looking at pictures from when Baduka and Dizzy were the New Kids. Why did they learn to climb the walls so young??
Well, that's enough for tonight, this vodka ain't drinking itself and I got a big family-football-food day to look forward to tomorrow.