Usually I change the names to protect the crazy, but I'm making an exception for this one. I want to talk about my friend, Colleen. We said goodbye to her this week and I can't stop thinking about her.
We met when we were 16, at the Boys and Girls Club, where we both worked for years. She started in the pool area being a lifeguard and teaching kids to swim. I was the slacker at the front desk who always managed to find a way to hang out where I wasn't supposed to. Which meant we talked all day long, either through notes, or quick runs back and forth.
She taught me to drive, because she couldn't believe that I didn't know how. So when she drove me home at night she would make me do circles in the cul-de-sac. They were extremely slow circles, because I was terrified of knocking over her Pound Puppies.
Sleepovers usually included being loud and a Hawaiian pizza, extra pineapple. Every year on St. Patrick's Day I texted her "Merry Colleen's Christmas." To remember her birthday she told me it was the same night as Paul Revere's ride, so that text was always "Happy Paul Revere Day!" She used my full name more than my mother, whenever I was being ridiculous, or stubborn, or crazy. Not surprisingly, I was more afraid of her than my mother.
When she was site coordinator at the after school program, she couldn't believe we thought it was weird that she was teaching the kids Beirut, or as she put it, hand eye coordination skills and wrist elbow alignment. To the kids they were throwing marshmallows in dixie cups. She always had a plan or a project for them, its funny the one fight I actually remember getting into with her was when she was the slacker. She was planning her wedding and the kids were watching another movie, and I yelled at her. She did make a beautiful bride complete with a crown, though.
We shared books, so much so that when I finally got a Nook I gave her the login info so she could still read the books I did from her iPad. We loved girly movies. We loved going to see the movies based off of books, so then we could drive ourselves crazy with all the things they left out. After seeing Confessions of a Shopaholic I got a facebook message, "Why would they change the color of the scarf?!" To this day it still makes me laugh, how upset she was over that. When we saw How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, she couldn't get over the fact that Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey weren't together in real life, so you better believe if they ever do end up together, she finally matched them up. The last movie we went to was Magic Mike, because obviously. I had forgotten til I saw the movie stub on Saturday after I got the call, that it was the most awkward movie experience, because about 10 minutes after it started, a random single guy, snuck in and sat in front of us. We couldn't stop giggling.
After that she usually wasn't up to nights out. You wouldn't know it though, when I showed up at her house with my Gilmore Girls dvds, in pajamas to her with a smile on her face and a "hi, Jen!" She was so much fun that even those nights were occasions. She would have an ice bucket for wine and a tray of at least 3 different cheeses and crackers. Depending on the night it was nonstop talking or just quiet tv watching. The night always ended when her amazing husband came home, not because she kicked me out, but because seeing them look at each other with so much love, I wanted to leave, so they could have more time with each other.
My favorite strawberry-blonde-because-holy-crap-don't-call-her-a-redhead, Irish loving friend, has been my friend for half my life and I don't know why it had to be for such a small half. She was fun, smart, brave, and so so strong, and I will miss her for all the rest of my days. I hope right now she's warm on a beach somewhere, fresh pedicure on her toes, fresh drink in her hand with an umbrella, thank you, reading a book and waiting for us all to get there.
Friday, January 31, 2014
Tuesday, January 21, 2014
dreams are funny things
Today has been the kind of day I always dreamed of having. I woke up, put my shoes on, went to the kitchen to make lunch and get Baduka's school stuff ready, before waking him up.
Got him out of bed, with the whispers of all the friends he was going to raise hel-- play with, today. Changed him, fought with him over what shirt he was going to wear. He won, pajama tiger is better than dinosaur eating fries. But he kept his shoes on, so I can't complain.
Then it was time to wake up Dizzy. Always a highlight of the morning, with the whining and the "NOnonoNono's". But today, today was different, special. Today he didn't want me to unzip his feeties. He didn't want me to unsnap his onesie. He didn't want me to touch him, but since me and Baduka fought over a shirt and there were so many no's, we were running late. So I did what I wanted, and didn't sense the warning.
Dizzy full on, like a newborn, peed over his shoulder. And cried. Then I sat him up and he peed on my freshly applied last night sweatpants I was wearing. And cried. Then stood up and peed, and peed, and peed. In full-force, stop start bursts. Everywhere. And cried.
So now I needed to be changed too. I could only find a pair of too tight, because I eat candy for breakfast, jeans.
I guess when I said today was the day of my dreams, I must have meant the dreams where nothing goes the way you thought, and you have to walk around the supermarket, adjusting your pants so no one will see your muffin top.
Got him out of bed, with the whispers of all the friends he was going to raise hel-- play with, today. Changed him, fought with him over what shirt he was going to wear. He won, pajama tiger is better than dinosaur eating fries. But he kept his shoes on, so I can't complain.
Then it was time to wake up Dizzy. Always a highlight of the morning, with the whining and the "NOnonoNono's". But today, today was different, special. Today he didn't want me to unzip his feeties. He didn't want me to unsnap his onesie. He didn't want me to touch him, but since me and Baduka fought over a shirt and there were so many no's, we were running late. So I did what I wanted, and didn't sense the warning.
Dizzy full on, like a newborn, peed over his shoulder. And cried. Then I sat him up and he peed on my freshly applied last night sweatpants I was wearing. And cried. Then stood up and peed, and peed, and peed. In full-force, stop start bursts. Everywhere. And cried.
So now I needed to be changed too. I could only find a pair of too tight, because I eat candy for breakfast, jeans.
I guess when I said today was the day of my dreams, I must have meant the dreams where nothing goes the way you thought, and you have to walk around the supermarket, adjusting your pants so no one will see your muffin top.
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
kids
Ahh, kids. The joy, the happiness, the repeated question of, "why did I have so many?!" Because according to Daddy, we have almost the perfect number for our Snow Removal Team. I say almost, because he wanted more. I hate pregnant and love wine. I won.
Anyway, watching these demons everyday cracks me up, usually after the crazy stops, because I can't lie, in some precious moments I want to scream.
Like the way they cry with the same intensity whether they get pushed over, drop a toy, don't get fruit snacks, need a nap, etc. I can't wait to see their reactions to truly sad things like the emotional roller-coaster known as Series Finales, and the all too short life cycle of a Seasonal Beverage. Think they'll take their blankie and go to their room, as Dizzy now does, when he's mad?
Or how changing a poopy diaper is the absolute last thing on their To-Do list and how dare we stop them from raising H-E-L-L, to clean their buttcheeks?! They'll sure show us how much they hate the process too, by making it wayyyy longer than it needs to be by making us chase them, tackle them to the floor, while they squirm, kick and twist, yelling "No!No!NO!!" Did that three times today. Baduka was on the verge of overflowing, but my goodness, could it have not waited til AFTER he climbed the bookcase?? Jeez.
But then there really are the moments that you realize this is why you had them. The goodnight kisses, the couch cuddles, the new things they do that make them look like miniature grown ups. The way the New Kid walks around with a hat on all day, because he likes it. The sense of pride Baduka has when he "reads" a new book. The way Dizzy will blow raspberries on the New Kid, because it makes them both laugh. Those are the times I thank goodness I got Daddy to move across the country for us.
Without him, my life might have been boring, quiet, and "clean". And you guys would have nothing to read about.
Anyway, watching these demons everyday cracks me up, usually after the crazy stops, because I can't lie, in some precious moments I want to scream.
Like the way they cry with the same intensity whether they get pushed over, drop a toy, don't get fruit snacks, need a nap, etc. I can't wait to see their reactions to truly sad things like the emotional roller-coaster known as Series Finales, and the all too short life cycle of a Seasonal Beverage. Think they'll take their blankie and go to their room, as Dizzy now does, when he's mad?
Or how changing a poopy diaper is the absolute last thing on their To-Do list and how dare we stop them from raising H-E-L-L, to clean their buttcheeks?! They'll sure show us how much they hate the process too, by making it wayyyy longer than it needs to be by making us chase them, tackle them to the floor, while they squirm, kick and twist, yelling "No!No!NO!!" Did that three times today. Baduka was on the verge of overflowing, but my goodness, could it have not waited til AFTER he climbed the bookcase?? Jeez.
But then there really are the moments that you realize this is why you had them. The goodnight kisses, the couch cuddles, the new things they do that make them look like miniature grown ups. The way the New Kid walks around with a hat on all day, because he likes it. The sense of pride Baduka has when he "reads" a new book. The way Dizzy will blow raspberries on the New Kid, because it makes them both laugh. Those are the times I thank goodness I got Daddy to move across the country for us.
Without him, my life might have been boring, quiet, and "clean". And you guys would have nothing to read about.
Tuesday, January 7, 2014
an hour in time
The alarm goes off at 6:00 and then 7:00, with snoozes in between for each alarm. I am lazy and always need just 9 more minutes.
7:27- Convince myself to leave the cozy, wozy blankies. The dog took a little longer and I had to untangle him from my legs.
7:28- Put my shoes on first, always first. You never know who is going to run and how far they will get. Always be ready.
7:30- Pee.
7:33- Attempt to let the dog out, because yesterday I didn't and I came home to pee and poop in the hallway. He runs back to the living room, because it's frigid outside. Seriously the dry ground crackled when I stepped on it. Second attempt meant I had to throw him out there.
7:34- Wash cups, make lunch, microwave French toast.
7:40- Start the car, worry someone may steal it.
7:42- Wake up Baduka, while getting his clothes, panic when I turn around and don't see him, be thankful I have my shoes on. Return to normal breathing when I see my blankets move.
7:43-7:54- Change and dress Baduka, while singing distracting songs to keep him from refusing to lift his arms up, and yelling for Dizzy in between lines, because he hates waking up.
7:55- Get the New Kid out of bed, change him while he's still in the middle of a sleep stretch, he really has no idea what just happened. Still yell for Dizzy.
7:58-8:03- Drag Dizzy out of bed. He may hate me. Get him changed. He goes back to bed. Get the other two in jackets. Get the other two in the car that wasn't stolen. Get Dizzy out of bed again. He definitely hates me. I can tell by all the screaming. From both of us.
8:07-8:22- Leave the driveway, make it to school early enough to get the good spot, the one I was told not to park in anymore. I'm a rebel.
8:30- Bring Baduka to his teacher, run back to the warmth of the car. Go home.
8:45- Make coffee, pour milk, turn on Geeeeooooorrrrge. Dizzy loves me again and the coffee is finally waking me up enough to realize 7:30-8:30 is like 6 hours compressed into 1. No wonder I'm exhausted.
7:27- Convince myself to leave the cozy, wozy blankies. The dog took a little longer and I had to untangle him from my legs.
7:28- Put my shoes on first, always first. You never know who is going to run and how far they will get. Always be ready.
7:30- Pee.
7:33- Attempt to let the dog out, because yesterday I didn't and I came home to pee and poop in the hallway. He runs back to the living room, because it's frigid outside. Seriously the dry ground crackled when I stepped on it. Second attempt meant I had to throw him out there.
7:34- Wash cups, make lunch, microwave French toast.
7:40- Start the car, worry someone may steal it.
7:42- Wake up Baduka, while getting his clothes, panic when I turn around and don't see him, be thankful I have my shoes on. Return to normal breathing when I see my blankets move.
7:43-7:54- Change and dress Baduka, while singing distracting songs to keep him from refusing to lift his arms up, and yelling for Dizzy in between lines, because he hates waking up.
7:55- Get the New Kid out of bed, change him while he's still in the middle of a sleep stretch, he really has no idea what just happened. Still yell for Dizzy.
7:58-8:03- Drag Dizzy out of bed. He may hate me. Get him changed. He goes back to bed. Get the other two in jackets. Get the other two in the car that wasn't stolen. Get Dizzy out of bed again. He definitely hates me. I can tell by all the screaming. From both of us.
8:07-8:22- Leave the driveway, make it to school early enough to get the good spot, the one I was told not to park in anymore. I'm a rebel.
8:30- Bring Baduka to his teacher, run back to the warmth of the car. Go home.
8:45- Make coffee, pour milk, turn on Geeeeooooorrrrge. Dizzy loves me again and the coffee is finally waking me up enough to realize 7:30-8:30 is like 6 hours compressed into 1. No wonder I'm exhausted.
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