Just what I needed.

These last few weeks haven't been easy for me, in the motherhood department. Having kids is way harder than I expected. Then having the added gift of autism, always there, just hanging out with us, makes it so overwhelming sometimes. The schedule, the craziness, the samesamesame. It gets to you in ways you didn't think possible. So today as I was leaving school, after picking up Baduka, and was trying to figure out how to fill the hours til dinner, I was feeling kinda eh about it. Then I pulled into the driveway, realized Dizzy and the New Kid were sleeping, decided to use this time wisely, and drove towards the highway. I stopped at a friend's real quick to drop something off, then headed to Nana. She had some cups for Baduka that I wanted to grab.

I talked with my mom out on the porch for a few, while the boys were in the car, and then said goodbye.

As we were pulling away, all 3 said, "Nana's house! Bounce!" I stopped the car, and asked, "you wanna go jump on the trampoline?" All 3 said, "Yes!" So how could I say no?

What happened next was exactly what I needed. A half hour of giggling, tickling, rolling, and "bounca-bounca-bounca!" These boys are the highlight of my every day. They drive me crazy, make me cry, make themselves cry, and just cause mayhem and destruction, everywhere they go. But for 30 minutes today, we forgot all about that, and laughed and had fun together. Baduka kept asking me to, "STAND UP!" so he could knock me over, laughing the whole time. The New Kid would come running/wobbling/bouncing to ask, "mom! Youuu OH KAY?!" Then laugh as I bounced back up. Dizzy was happy to run in circles and be tackled by Baduka. He absolutely loves the attention Baduka sometimes gives him.

It really was such a great way to reset myself, I couldn't help but get teary eyed on the way home. These boys aren't going to be babies forever, but they will always be my bests.

stress relief, coming soon.

It's been a while... let's catch up, blahblahblah, crazy, blahblahblah, tired, blahblahblah, messy, blahblahblah, somebody pooped. There you go.

One of the things in the blahblahblahs though, was my panic attack, because Baduka got out, and we still have no idea how. I know people don't really understand the fear, and probably, hopefully never have to, of having no idea for 3 minutes where your non verbal, autistic child is. And I hope you never do. It's terrifying. He was luckily found safe in the car, eating a pop tart. But still, no idea how. And that 3 minutes took about 37 years off my life. Thankfully I am working on living forever...

But the scare really pushed us to get him a GPS bracelet. We got the LoJack Safety Net one, and in 7-10 business days, Baduka will be like a human car. We're thinking of calling him Buick.

The bracelet will be worn 24/7, bathing, swimming, sleeping. We got him a watch to practice having something on at all times, and he put it on no problems, slept all night with it, and immediately showed his teacher at school this morning. My stress level has dropped, slightly. When he's got the bracelet on, maybe I'll be able to pee during the day without hovering, one ear towards the door. I know it won't prevent him from being crazy, and leaving, but knowing 1 phone call, and a signal is activated, takes a HUGE weight off my shoulders.

This also makes me want to remind you, ask you, BEG you, if you ever see a child or even an older kid by themselves, and something seems off, wait, watch, ask where their adult is. Better safe than sorry. I am terrified that someday Baduka will get out, and be alone, and no one will stop to help.

Not my normal hilarity, but it's not all fun and games here, and this is important.