Today can start over at any point now. About 15 seconds after I dropped the phone I replaced my broken one with smashing the screen (seriously, glass?? WHY?!) the New Kid started crying in the other room. As I went in to get him, the other two maniacs threw one of my FAVORITE glasses to the floor.
I LOVED my Fiona glass from McDonald's (Burger King?) so very much. And while, yes, I do in fact have a Shrek and a Donkey, I had an attachment to Fiona. Damn kids.
This means at last count they have broken 2 Shrek themed McDonald's (Burger King?) glasses, 3 Starbucks super expensive ceramic travel cups with awesome slidy close, no taste plastic covers, and a giant coffee mug that held the perfect amount of coffee, that I have yet to be able to replace. Why do I let them out of their room?
Oh, right. Because when they are alone too long, they get naked and pee on things.
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Monday, March 25, 2013
poop.
This weekend was kinda boring and quiet. I made a cake on Saturday, and that was as exciting as it got. So, you know the maniacs had to shake up my Monday morning.
They woke up as usual, Dizzy sleepily wandering around with his blankie, looking like he wished he was still sleeping, but that's impossible when Baduka is your brother. Because Baduka turns every morning into a lit up, naked fest. I hear him every day "talking" to himself. The usual "ticka-ticka-tickas" and ABC's followed by the sounds of his pajamas hitting the floor, then nighttime-pee-filled-size-6-diapers. Then he comes down the ladder and turns on the light. Who would sleep through that? Not Dizzy, usually.
So, I let them out of their room and started the morning routine of milk, and breakfast, and trying to clothe the maniac.
Apparently, the New Kid was feeling a little left out, because he then pooped out of his pajamas onto our bed. Great, I wanted to wash sheets today, really. Cleaned him up, stripped the beds, got the washer going.
The Lizard felt a bit left out, she pooped a poop bigger and smellier than the New Kid's. Great, I wanted to smell lizard butt all day, really.
While, that was being cleaned (not by me), the New Kid decided he wasn't done. He pooped out of his diaper down his leg and up his back. Great, I wanted to have mid-morning tubby-time, really.
During all of this, Baduka's behavioral therapist showed up for her 3 hour hang-out. She was nice enough to say she didn't notice the smell(s), but I'm pretty sure she's just a polite liar.
Moral of this story: Everybody poops, and it's never pretty.
They woke up as usual, Dizzy sleepily wandering around with his blankie, looking like he wished he was still sleeping, but that's impossible when Baduka is your brother. Because Baduka turns every morning into a lit up, naked fest. I hear him every day "talking" to himself. The usual "ticka-ticka-tickas" and ABC's followed by the sounds of his pajamas hitting the floor, then nighttime-pee-filled-size-6-diapers. Then he comes down the ladder and turns on the light. Who would sleep through that? Not Dizzy, usually.
So, I let them out of their room and started the morning routine of milk, and breakfast, and trying to clothe the maniac.
Apparently, the New Kid was feeling a little left out, because he then pooped out of his pajamas onto our bed. Great, I wanted to wash sheets today, really. Cleaned him up, stripped the beds, got the washer going.
The Lizard felt a bit left out, she pooped a poop bigger and smellier than the New Kid's. Great, I wanted to smell lizard butt all day, really.
While, that was being cleaned (not by me), the New Kid decided he wasn't done. He pooped out of his diaper down his leg and up his back. Great, I wanted to have mid-morning tubby-time, really.
During all of this, Baduka's behavioral therapist showed up for her 3 hour hang-out. She was nice enough to say she didn't notice the smell(s), but I'm pretty sure she's just a polite liar.
Moral of this story: Everybody poops, and it's never pretty.
Thursday, March 21, 2013
Picture This
Baduka spends a lot of time naked. A LOT of time. But I'm trying to work it into potty training, so approximately every 48 seconds, I yell, "Needa pee?!" Sometimes he shakes his head, others he runs to the toilet. We haven't wiped any pee off the floor, and he pooped on the potty today, so I'm not giving up hope yet. But he's soooo weird. Me and Dizzy, sitting in the kitchen, he's "drawing" and I'm silently praying the UPS truck stops taking its sweet time with my phone battery, when in GALLOPS Baduka, with no pants on, no underwear, onesie tail bobbing, and him holding himself, with a huge smile on his face, making crazy noises. Me and Dizzy just looked at each other, shook our heads, and carried on.
I experience at least one weird thing a day with these whackos.
I experience at least one weird thing a day with these whackos.
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Being a Baby, Not As Easy As It Sounds
I've spent almost every hour of these boys lives with them. It's part of why I'm crazy, I think, but I just think they are pretty freaking fantastic, so I don't like to leave them. Weird, huh? Anyway, watching them all these days, I think it's pretty safe to say it must be wicked annoying being a baby. I have a few reasons...
1. New Kid woke up today, not because he was done sleeping, (obviously, because he then spent the next 2 hours with a grump on his face,) but because he had pooped his pants. If the reason why I woke up most days was because I crapped myself, I'd be pretty mad til naptime too.
2. Kids fall down a lot. Dizzy cannot, for the life of him, make it across the room without falling. At least twice. It's like he's been drinking. He really might be his mother's son.
3. They eat the same things over, and over, and over again. Baduka pretty much gets by on finger scrapings of the peanut butter off his bread and baggies of froot loops. But he doesn't know how to ask for anything else and I hate wasting food. Sorry boys.
4. They cry, and it's a guessing game as to why, when they are the New Kid's age... "Oh you're crying, are you hungry? Did you pee? Do you want me to bop this toy off your face a few times?"
5. They become puppets. Seriously, they learn a new word or action, and all of a sudden the only thing a parent knows how to say is, "Do it AGAIN!!" No wonder why Baduka lives in his own world. He does something and he doesn't care who is impressed by it, he won't do it again til he's ready, and there's not a person or camera in sight.
6. Dizzy is the middle kid. Watching him, I know why people hate being that kid. The oldest gets what he wants, and the youngest probably pooped himself, so really there's not too many hours left in the day to do what the middle one wants. I think thats why he learned the gimme-gimme hands as fast as he did. There's not an adult alive who can resist that. Its too adorable. But watch out, sometimes as soon as you pick him up, he lands a headbutt right between your eyes. Probably deserved, next time pay attention to him.
There's probably a lot more reasons, but I hear dangerous sounds from the other room.
1. New Kid woke up today, not because he was done sleeping, (obviously, because he then spent the next 2 hours with a grump on his face,) but because he had pooped his pants. If the reason why I woke up most days was because I crapped myself, I'd be pretty mad til naptime too.
2. Kids fall down a lot. Dizzy cannot, for the life of him, make it across the room without falling. At least twice. It's like he's been drinking. He really might be his mother's son.
3. They eat the same things over, and over, and over again. Baduka pretty much gets by on finger scrapings of the peanut butter off his bread and baggies of froot loops. But he doesn't know how to ask for anything else and I hate wasting food. Sorry boys.
4. They cry, and it's a guessing game as to why, when they are the New Kid's age... "Oh you're crying, are you hungry? Did you pee? Do you want me to bop this toy off your face a few times?"
5. They become puppets. Seriously, they learn a new word or action, and all of a sudden the only thing a parent knows how to say is, "Do it AGAIN!!" No wonder why Baduka lives in his own world. He does something and he doesn't care who is impressed by it, he won't do it again til he's ready, and there's not a person or camera in sight.
6. Dizzy is the middle kid. Watching him, I know why people hate being that kid. The oldest gets what he wants, and the youngest probably pooped himself, so really there's not too many hours left in the day to do what the middle one wants. I think thats why he learned the gimme-gimme hands as fast as he did. There's not an adult alive who can resist that. Its too adorable. But watch out, sometimes as soon as you pick him up, he lands a headbutt right between your eyes. Probably deserved, next time pay attention to him.
There's probably a lot more reasons, but I hear dangerous sounds from the other room.
Monday, March 18, 2013
Battery, shmattery.
Last night my phone battery decided to officially give up. No matter what charger I tried it wasn't going to give me even one more day. A call to Verizon and we were informed that, yes, I do have a warranty on the phone, but that doesn't cover the battery, and yes, my contract is for 2 years, but my phone is really old, so they don't even stock them anymore. My upgrade is in 4 weeks, and no, they won't allow an early upgrade to a not really old phone. Also, call a battery store. Stupid Verizon. With its stupid, better than everyone else's coverage and stupid, horrible customer service. So, yeah, Amazon had one and I won't have a phone for 1-3 Expedited Business Days.
Reasons why this is annoying--
1. Home alone with 3 maniacs all day, this is my outlet, to status updates, Pinterest, and Words with Friends.
2. What if these maniacs break their giant heads jumping off stuff they have no business climbing anyway?? I don't know if screaming 911 is an actual method of getting help.
3. I text Daddy about a billion times a day, adding to shopping lists, so he can just forget what I listed anyway, and come home with only some of it. How am I going to do that now?
4. I think I had to call someone today. Seriously, I can't remember if this is actually true, but it could be.
5. You KNOW these kids are going to be perfect, smily angels for the next 1-3 Expedited Business Days and I won't be able to have photographic evidence of it to send to people.
Technology stinks, where's my house phone?
Reasons why this is annoying--
1. Home alone with 3 maniacs all day, this is my outlet, to status updates, Pinterest, and Words with Friends.
2. What if these maniacs break their giant heads jumping off stuff they have no business climbing anyway?? I don't know if screaming 911 is an actual method of getting help.
3. I text Daddy about a billion times a day, adding to shopping lists, so he can just forget what I listed anyway, and come home with only some of it. How am I going to do that now?
4. I think I had to call someone today. Seriously, I can't remember if this is actually true, but it could be.
5. You KNOW these kids are going to be perfect, smily angels for the next 1-3 Expedited Business Days and I won't be able to have photographic evidence of it to send to people.
Technology stinks, where's my house phone?
Thursday, March 14, 2013
What Time Is It?
I'm a firm believer in "No baby is cute between the hours of midnight and 8a.m.," even my own precious babies. So, when Baduka woke up and escaped his room at 4a.m., I dragged him back in there kicking and screaming. I wasn't messing around, he may be cute from 8:01a.m. on to 11:59p.m., but at that point he turns into, "Who's kid ARE you, anyway?!" He turned his light on and climbed in bed, apparently he's afraid of the dark. We all fell back to sweet, glorious sleep for a few more hours.
I went in at 7 to turn the light off, and there was Dizzy, staring up at me from his toy pile, dangerously close to dumping cars all over the place. He gave me a smile and although it wasn't in the time frame, it was adorable and I was up to bake, so I let him follow me around for a bit. I finally got him settled back in bed though, with a cup of milk.
That's when the New Kid was made aware of the fact that he may be a little hungry. So he made that little hungry noise. I got his bottle and at that point he was teetering on the edge of Little Hungry Noise and Dying of Starvation-so-I'm-going-to-use-my-remaining-energy-screaming-the-house-awake-cry. Anybody else agree that babies need a better warning system? He's a baby of the 2012's, why can't he text his order of 7 ounces, room temperature, shaken, instead of losing his mind? That feature must come with the upgrade...
The point of all this is, coffee please?!
I went in at 7 to turn the light off, and there was Dizzy, staring up at me from his toy pile, dangerously close to dumping cars all over the place. He gave me a smile and although it wasn't in the time frame, it was adorable and I was up to bake, so I let him follow me around for a bit. I finally got him settled back in bed though, with a cup of milk.
That's when the New Kid was made aware of the fact that he may be a little hungry. So he made that little hungry noise. I got his bottle and at that point he was teetering on the edge of Little Hungry Noise and Dying of Starvation-so-I'm-going-to-use-my-remaining-energy-screaming-the-house-awake-cry. Anybody else agree that babies need a better warning system? He's a baby of the 2012's, why can't he text his order of 7 ounces, room temperature, shaken, instead of losing his mind? That feature must come with the upgrade...
The point of all this is, coffee please?!
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
This may or may not have happened...
I'm pretty sure the maniacs just "silently" plotted against me... It may have gone as follows--
Dizzy: Okay, I'm gonna sit in the top bunk, where she knows I can't get down from and make her think she only has you two to entertain...
Baduka: Yeah, and while you're up there, slowly start dumping that bag of cereal down the wall, onto the floor, where she NEVER sweeps. And then New Kid, this is where you come in, start screaming for a bottle... Yeah, we know you just had one, don't worry, that'll give you something to vomit when she puts clean clothes on you later.
New Kid: Okay-- AHHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHH! AH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Dizzy: Now, Baduka, GET NAKED!
I haven't even had coffee yet.
Dizzy: Okay, I'm gonna sit in the top bunk, where she knows I can't get down from and make her think she only has you two to entertain...
Baduka: Yeah, and while you're up there, slowly start dumping that bag of cereal down the wall, onto the floor, where she NEVER sweeps. And then New Kid, this is where you come in, start screaming for a bottle... Yeah, we know you just had one, don't worry, that'll give you something to vomit when she puts clean clothes on you later.
New Kid: Okay-- AHHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHH! AH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Dizzy: Now, Baduka, GET NAKED!
I haven't even had coffee yet.
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
I'm back?
Why, hello. Haha, I don't know why I haven't written down any of the crazy in the past month. But I don't know why I'm shocked either... Every diary I ever had started with--
January 1st 1993
Dear Diary,
I got you for Christmas and I'm gonna write in you everyday!!
January 2nd 1993
Dear Diary,
Something, something, something...
March 23rd 1996
Dear Diary,
I'm bad at this.
Hahaha, but looking back, I wasn't that entertaining anyway.
The past month has been a lot of furniture moving, organizing, and cleaning. Yet this place still feels like the abandoned home of a hoarder. Except we live in it. And the maniacs try to rearrange furniture constantly. And wipe poop on it. Oh well. In our next life maybe we will aim for a bigger than a shoebox sized apartment.
In other news, Baduka has made AHHHHH-MAZING progress with his new therapists. There's hope for our biggest best boy! Dizzy is learning to climb the walls and following in his big brother's crazy footsteps, and the New Kid is taking it all in. We are in for it, my mantra has become "they're lucky they're cute... they're lucky they're cute... they're lucky they're cute..."
January 1st 1993
Dear Diary,
I got you for Christmas and I'm gonna write in you everyday!!
January 2nd 1993
Dear Diary,
Something, something, something...
March 23rd 1996
Dear Diary,
I'm bad at this.
Hahaha, but looking back, I wasn't that entertaining anyway.
The past month has been a lot of furniture moving, organizing, and cleaning. Yet this place still feels like the abandoned home of a hoarder. Except we live in it. And the maniacs try to rearrange furniture constantly. And wipe poop on it. Oh well. In our next life maybe we will aim for a bigger than a shoebox sized apartment.
In other news, Baduka has made AHHHHH-MAZING progress with his new therapists. There's hope for our biggest best boy! Dizzy is learning to climb the walls and following in his big brother's crazy footsteps, and the New Kid is taking it all in. We are in for it, my mantra has become "they're lucky they're cute... they're lucky they're cute... they're lucky they're cute..."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)