Hi Friends, it's been a while since I last posted. I know, I know, you missed me. I just got into status posts, and stuff like that, because it's fast and easy. But this story, this deserves a blog post. Because it's one of those, "I'll look back on it and laugh"s and I want to make sure I know where exactly to find it someday...
Baduka gets out of school everyday between 1:20 and 1:30. I always change the New Kid, find his clothes because he's always half dressed, then go pee, and leave the house by 1:10 at the absolute latest, even though we live one minute away. Today, the New Kid, followed me into the bathroom.
And slammed the door.
And said, "Mom, I locked it!"
Umm, what??!
That thing I tell you REPEATEDLY not to do, because the door lock is on the outside of the door, so an adult can get any trapped kids out? And I'm now the only adult in the house, trapped with you, New Kid??
But don't worry, I planned for this and stashed a screwdriver in the cabinet, that holds the mop I never use.
Oh, wait, what's that??
Someone took the screwdriver, but left the mop still unused?
Thanks.
Aaaaanyway. Let's begin panicking, shall we??
We have two windows in this bathroom. One opens, and is a one floor drop, to some rocks and sticks. And the other, is one of those push out kinds, with a screen I can't get out, that drops onto our back porch.
I look at the New Kid, and tell him I'm dropping him out of the window, onto the rocky ground.
He looks a combination of terrified and excited. Like, if this goes well, he might lock us in weekly.
Have I mentioned it's sleeting out?
I then rethink dropping him into the front part of our house, in case he can't get the door open, or gets hurt, or someone kidnaps him. They'd bring him back, but still.
So I cut the screen, and drop him onto the back porch.
He thinks it's the most fun he's ever had.
I tell him, go through the doggy door, and open the bathroom.
Doggy door is locked.
I tell him to go through the playroom door, into the house, and open the slider.
"Okay, Mommy!"
Comes back ten seconds later, "Mom, I can't do it, you open it!"
Seriously, New Kid. I WOULD HAVE IF I COULD HAVE.
At this point, I had already called school to make sure they didn't bring Baduka out, until I got there, and I'm tearing the bathroom apart, looking for anything to open the lock with. I mean, I already ruined a screen, and dropped a barefoot kid onto the back porch, in sleet. What's one more mess?
The only option now? Ripping the back panel off the door, and reaching my chubby arm between the slats, to unlock the door.
"MOM!! YOU DID IT!! GREAT JOB!"
Daddy thought it was hilarious when I called to tell him we need a screen, a bathroom door repair, and a new knob.
I should call him back, and tell him I need a fresh box of wine, too.
