It's been a bit since the last post, because it's summer, and most of my energy must be spent making sure no one's bleeding. I'm doing an okay job. But I realized last night, that during this last few weeks, just how much Dizzy has to say, and I'd really like to tell you all about it.
* He knows all his colors, and let's you know every time he sees something colorful.
* He knows the ABC's and if you start singing, he'll finish.
* He can count to 10.
* He knows animals and their sounds. And yesterday at the zoo, he called all their names, made their sounds, and took their "pitcha! Cheeeeeese!"
* He has learned how to be a tattle-taler, and I'm kinda okay with it. A lot of things around here have been mysteries.
* He knows his body parts. Hearing him say them all from the top of his "Heeeeaaaaadddd!" to his "ButtButtButt!" every tubby time is kinda the reason I like tubby time so much lately.
Dizzy has taken a long time to find his voice in this house. He's the middle kid, with an older autistic brother, who hasn't really shown him what to do, and a little brother who drives everyone crazy. Hearing him speak, and answer questions, and just be the amazing little man that he is, is undeniably wonderful.
Friday, August 29, 2014
Tuesday, August 12, 2014
Letting things happen.
When you have a kid with autism, every day is an emotional roller coaster. I mean, I guess regular kids drive their parents all the emotions too, but it feels different with Baduka, than what I see with other parents, siblings, and friends. Today, for example, they have been awake for an hour and a half. They have already eaten together, pushed each other, cried, made a mess, played on the porch, and are now watching a movie. They've fought, and made up in their own ways. I have broken up fights, and smiled at them sitting close, and playing together.
But Baduka has been all over the place. He's been happy, sad, mad. Trying to figure out why for each is the frustrating part for me. Not immediately knowing what he wants, and what he wants to do next, makes for very long days of chasing him.
Our kitchen is small, with a little, I call it an alleyway, spot where our sink, and counter are. Its almost like it should be a skinny walk-in closet, with a window at the end, but someone decided to shove a sink in it instead, and take the door off. Above the sink has cabinets. The cabinets have no doors. People, if you are ever thinking open cabinets are a good idea, I am telling you, IT ISN'T. You can thank me later. Then on the wall opposite the cabinets, we put up shelves, for our cereal, and pretzel stash. Besides the stove, this is probably the most dangerous part of the kitchen, because it's where all our glass, and sharp objects are. Baduka has been climbing the wall with the window, up onto the counter where the dish drainer is, for weeks.
Before he was doing it to reach snacks. But the last few days, he's been touching the glasses. Paying close attention to the 2 wine glasses I haven't broken yet. We kept taking him down, but he hasn't stopped trying.
This morning, after all the other things he's been emotional about, I decided to not stop him, but help him. I took the two glasses, and him down, and said, "Bud, what do you want to do?" He took both glasses, and made the motion of he was going to smash them together. So I said, "you want to cheers?" He smiled. I said, "okay I'm going to show you how gently... Gently. Like this." We clinked glasses a few times, said, "Cheers!" Then I said, "one more time, okay? Then we'll put them back, and go do something else." We clinked one more time, he handed me his glass, and went outside.
I have started to come to realize, that changing HIM isn't helping US. He has his wants, and needs, and right now the ability to voice it isn't there. But if we just let him follow through on the things he is so focused on, he knows what he's thinking matters, too. I may not be a mind reader yet, but I know he's happy knowing I care enough to try to read his.
But Baduka has been all over the place. He's been happy, sad, mad. Trying to figure out why for each is the frustrating part for me. Not immediately knowing what he wants, and what he wants to do next, makes for very long days of chasing him.
Our kitchen is small, with a little, I call it an alleyway, spot where our sink, and counter are. Its almost like it should be a skinny walk-in closet, with a window at the end, but someone decided to shove a sink in it instead, and take the door off. Above the sink has cabinets. The cabinets have no doors. People, if you are ever thinking open cabinets are a good idea, I am telling you, IT ISN'T. You can thank me later. Then on the wall opposite the cabinets, we put up shelves, for our cereal, and pretzel stash. Besides the stove, this is probably the most dangerous part of the kitchen, because it's where all our glass, and sharp objects are. Baduka has been climbing the wall with the window, up onto the counter where the dish drainer is, for weeks.
Before he was doing it to reach snacks. But the last few days, he's been touching the glasses. Paying close attention to the 2 wine glasses I haven't broken yet. We kept taking him down, but he hasn't stopped trying.
This morning, after all the other things he's been emotional about, I decided to not stop him, but help him. I took the two glasses, and him down, and said, "Bud, what do you want to do?" He took both glasses, and made the motion of he was going to smash them together. So I said, "you want to cheers?" He smiled. I said, "okay I'm going to show you how gently... Gently. Like this." We clinked glasses a few times, said, "Cheers!" Then I said, "one more time, okay? Then we'll put them back, and go do something else." We clinked one more time, he handed me his glass, and went outside.
I have started to come to realize, that changing HIM isn't helping US. He has his wants, and needs, and right now the ability to voice it isn't there. But if we just let him follow through on the things he is so focused on, he knows what he's thinking matters, too. I may not be a mind reader yet, but I know he's happy knowing I care enough to try to read his.
Tuesday, August 5, 2014
mama never told me there'd be days like this...
Dizzy had a doctor's appointment today after school. It was at 4:30, which is a weird traffic judgment time for me. So we left immediately. And got there 2 hours early. Even with a detour down the long way, so I could get Starbucks. By that time Dizzy was car napping, until that moment when he woke up screaming his face off, and made the New Kid cry too. Then that turned into the New Kid, and Baduka yelling, "Nonuts!!" and Dizzy was just yelling. So, since we had an hour and a half, we left the parking lot, and went to Dunks. I love giving all of Daddy's money to coffee establishments.
Anyway, they were happily covering themselves in glazed donut, while I sat there wondering how much longer I could hold my bladder, and how early was too early to go inside. Apparently 45 minutes early is too early, but I almost peed my pants.
Inside, they were good in the wagon, for about 15 minutes. But the stupid train was broken, and they wanted to watch the fish tank. Fast forward about 14 seconds, and I was practically tackling them all back into the wagon, because no one wanted to watch the fish. They wanted to swim with them. For real, doctor's waiting rooms should be made of bouncy house, and ball pit.
Then we finally got called in to the room. They promptly screamed their faces off. Well, besides Baduka, but he had a magazine, so he was reading. It was so bad, that by the time the doctor came in, I was sweating, Dizzy was screaming for his pants, the New Kid was trying to escape, and we had to yell just to be heard.
Blahblahblah, doctor stuff, blahblahblah.
The nurse came in to give Dizzy his shot, and he just pointed at the New Kid to take it for him, and sobbed. Seriously, pediatricians, and their nurses, have hearts of stone. How could they handle that all day long?! Dizzy was so upset he wouldn't take the band aid, but when the nurse left he slapped a Jake and the Neverland Pirate sticker on his needle hole. He also cried the whole way home about his, "booboo!"
We made it home in one piece, where Baduka climbed the beer fridge, and handed out freezepops, the New Kid got naked, and Dizzy sat on the porch sulking.
Oh, and I dropped an entire bin of Legos on the floor. It wasn't that bad, they mixed in nicely with the box of buttons that broke their fall.
Anyway, they were happily covering themselves in glazed donut, while I sat there wondering how much longer I could hold my bladder, and how early was too early to go inside. Apparently 45 minutes early is too early, but I almost peed my pants.
Inside, they were good in the wagon, for about 15 minutes. But the stupid train was broken, and they wanted to watch the fish tank. Fast forward about 14 seconds, and I was practically tackling them all back into the wagon, because no one wanted to watch the fish. They wanted to swim with them. For real, doctor's waiting rooms should be made of bouncy house, and ball pit.
Then we finally got called in to the room. They promptly screamed their faces off. Well, besides Baduka, but he had a magazine, so he was reading. It was so bad, that by the time the doctor came in, I was sweating, Dizzy was screaming for his pants, the New Kid was trying to escape, and we had to yell just to be heard.
Blahblahblah, doctor stuff, blahblahblah.
The nurse came in to give Dizzy his shot, and he just pointed at the New Kid to take it for him, and sobbed. Seriously, pediatricians, and their nurses, have hearts of stone. How could they handle that all day long?! Dizzy was so upset he wouldn't take the band aid, but when the nurse left he slapped a Jake and the Neverland Pirate sticker on his needle hole. He also cried the whole way home about his, "booboo!"
We made it home in one piece, where Baduka climbed the beer fridge, and handed out freezepops, the New Kid got naked, and Dizzy sat on the porch sulking.
Oh, and I dropped an entire bin of Legos on the floor. It wasn't that bad, they mixed in nicely with the box of buttons that broke their fall.
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