I need a maid.

It's not often that I want to clean. In fact, I only wash the dishes everyday because I hate paper plates, and we need to eat. But once in a while, I think, "well, I need to waste all this energy I have (HA!) might as well reorganize." Just kidding, I plan on showering today so I figured I'd make it worth it, by getting sweaty and gross first. Don't wanna waste water by being somewhat clean already.

I downed two cups of coffee (because I lied in that last paragraph about the energy,) and decided while the crazies were watching Daniel Tiger, I'd finally tackle their room. It's been long enough. They have so many toys and pretzels under the crib. Between the bunk bed and the wall was possibly an entire box of Trix. Matchbox cars as far as the eye could see. You get the picture.

So I pushed everything into the middle of the room and started from the outside in. That's when Baduka realized I was "doing something."

He walked in, looked at all the toy buckets, the train table, the moved aside crib, and in a moment of perfection said--

"WHAT DID YOU DO?!"

You know you need to clean more, when you shock the 3 year old with autism into speaking.

hello again

So, it's been a little bit since I've blogged about the crazies, mainly because the Captain of them, Baduka, is on summer break. Umm, its been so fun. You know, because he plays this super awesome game all day long. He made it up himself and it's called "Jump Over The Babygate And Run Down The Hallway Straight Into the Furthest Corner Of The Kitchen Everytime Mom Looks Busy Or Comfy Or Tired Or Is Peeing." It's a little wordy though, so I renamed it "Why Are You Such A Pain In The A**?" There's no real winner to the game either, but after a good effort on my part I'm rewarded with wine at bedtime. And Malibu at dinner, if it has been a particularly long session of it.

Dizzy got evaluated for Early Intervention last week, because he has a speech delay. I haven't been too worried about it, but at his last doctor's appointment the substitute doctor was concerned. Blah. Maybe in my next lifetime, I'll learn to talk less and my kids will talk more.

The New Kid has a bunch of new teeth, crazy hair, and a chubby smile that makes me fall in love a million times a day. I think he's gonna walk soon too, so yeah, I'm screwed.

But other than that, it's been a whole bunch of usual around here.

Climbing, yelling, jumping, giggling, wrestling, fighting, goofy, crazy usual.

Let's be lazy...

Sometimes I justify my laziness during the day by how much I do before 10 o'clock in the morning. If all I can manage to do is turn on channel 2 and hope for the best, then yeah, by the time Daddy gets home, I try to at least cook dinner and maybe, just maybe, do a load of laundry.

So today, I have gotten the boys up, changed, and fed. Baduka to school. Baduka also required an emergency diaper change in the car, because he's disgusting. Which caused us to not have enough run around the tree time, so he was a little upset with me. Like I pooped his pants. Jeez.

Then the dog puked on the front seat in the Dunkin Donuts drive-thru.

When we got home Dizzy was upset that his bageltwist was still too hot to let him eat, so he decided on the entire bag of Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Yes, I did have to wrestle the bag from him.

The New Kid has been alternating between babbling, smiling and screaming at me, because he hates being contained.

Two poops, a blogpost and a load of laundry, all before 9:59 should mean someone feeds me peeled grapes and rubs my feet.

But in reality, I'll probably be fed already chewed pretzels and jumped on til bedtime. Ahh, this is the life!

Dinner!

Cooking dinner tonight, and I can't help but think of last night's fantastic dinner. We were on the way home, and I thought grilled chicken and a simple lettuce, cucumber, and crouton salad, sounded delightful after our day out and about.

We stopped at the grocery store for a few things, where I purchased the required chicken, lettuce, and cucumber. All seemed to be falling into place just perfectly. I mean, we already had croutons!

We got home, Daddy started the grill, I made the salad. Then we both opened a delightful adult beverage, and enjoyed the beautiful weather out on the porch.

The children being the most perfect beings on Earth, were playing happily, going inside and out. Laughing and running. Being ever so perfect.

Maybe I should have kept a better eye on the inside of the laughing and running. It was my fault. I mean, how could i blame those cherubs? Those delightful, little scamps? Those amazing, amazing creatures?

It was DEFINITELY my fault, that one of them decided to help season the salad.

You know? With an entire 12 ounce container or salt, pepper, and garlic (sparlic, as we like to call it.)

Mmm, nothing makes a simple salad of lettuce, cucumber and croutons taste more delightful, than all the water you have to rinse it with, to make it edible again. After, of course, picking out as many croutons as possible, to prevent water absorption.

Have kids, they said. It'll be fun, they said.

quiet time

Sometimes this house is actually not as crazy as we expect, which means I don't have much to blog about. Boooo. Except for it also means I don't want to drink my dinner. Yayyy. This week has been one of those "quiet" weeks. Sure, they've been off the walls, but there hasn't been one day where I had to wipe poop off the TV, so I'll take it.

But there have been a few things.

We've discovered the New Kid is TERRIBLE at eating watermelon. Seriously chokes every time. On watermelon. Seems like it shouldn't be possible to do that.

He's also at that stage where he wants to always stand. It doesn't matter where or when either. Tubby time. Diaper changing time. Bed time. You're standing still in front of him, so he grabs your legs from behind and you almost both fall over time.

Dizzy is proving to be quite the dancer. Like his mother. His no rhythm, is she having a seizure?, what kind of dancing is that?, mother. Poor kid.

He also has been punching, but finishing it with a kiss and a death grip hug around the neck. It's sweet. So, so sweet.

He also cries real hard when he sees his blanket go in the washing machine. Payback for the punching. I may wash that thing everyday til he's 3.

Baduka sounded out the letters of most of the alphabet earlier today. Like, really? And we taught him to put the milk back in the fridge. Huge deal, because normally he leaves it on the floor in front of the door. He's kind of like a Sim sometimes.

Only four more days of summer school for my little smartypants, too. I can't believe the progress he's made since he started. Still mostly mimicking everything he hears, but there is also the days where he labels everything. Getting him dressed and he says, "Shirt!" "Shoes!" Pouring him a drink and he says, "Milk!" "Cup!" Stuff like that makes me so excited for him. At my mom's pool last weekend he actually said "towel, dried, milk". First time he's ever requested anything.

And he's been wearing his train hat. Which is awesome since normally we aren't even allowed to acknowledge his head, nevermind decorate it.

Thanks boys for the break this week.

Times like these

I haven't wrote a blog in a while, because I didn't think anything really happened that needed to be written out. But then the more I thought about it, the more I realized there's been plenty of short stories that made me laugh, made me crazy, made me happy.

Like last Sunday, when we wanted to take the best boys to the park and as soon as we crossed the street it started to sprinkle a few raindrops. Daddy said, "it's not gonna rain, rain. We'll be fine." So we continued on. About 10 minutes after we started playing, it started to drizzle, then it was a full on summer downpour. The boys had a blast. Even the New Kid decided the swing is awesome, and spent the entire time laughing. It was like a poor man's trip to Water Country, which works out, since we are far from rich.

Or last Thursday, when I spent 4 hours watching my little sister be in labor, watched her have contraction after contraction, watched the nurses be kind of obnoxious, watched her scream and cry, but didn't watch her have my perfect, little nephew. How did I miss that? She was 6cm, the nurses were calling for an epidural, and my mom wanted to go outside for a cigarette, because they were convinced it would take a while. Nope, 5 minutes. When a girl wants to push, you should probably listen. We left the room at 6cm and came back to a 6lb 1.7oz teeny, tiny baby.

Or the other night when I said, " why aren't we in the Wheel Watcher's Club?" Then decided to sign up, while Daddy was watching Jeopardy, and while no one was watching Baduka pull poop out of his diaper. We know how that ended.

Or last night, when Dizzy sat on my lap and watched a video of himself on my phone, and was laughing so hard, we had to video him on Daddy's phone. What was he doing in the video? Climbing on my lap, saying hi, and falling off onto the floor, over and over. Comedy gold.

Or the the other night when I went to check on the maniacs, and Baduka and Dizzy were asleep together on the bottom bunk. I hope they always end the day as friends like that.

And then there was this morning, when I quietly opened their bedroom door, to see Baduka "reading" to his brothers. The book is Does a Kangaroo Have a Mother Too? and it goes through a bunch of animals asking if they have mothers and YES, YES! Just like me and you! And it was hard to understand, but I knew what he was doing and it was in the exact way, down to the pointing to himself, like I read it to him.

That was when I realized, that I may not have a crazy, ridiculous, these kids are insane, story every day, but I have a lot of stories that make those times even more worth it.

Ahh, kids.

I came into the kitchen to make Dizzy a peanut butter sandwich, and he seemed pretty excited. I mean, it is his favorite of all the sandwiches, so it makes sense. I handed it to him, he smiled and took a huge bite, and I turned around to grab myself a handful of Chicken In A Biskit crackers. He practically launched that sandwich, in order to free his grubby little hands, for one of my delicious, delicious crackers. Little brat. As we snacked, I thought of a list of reasons why having kids is a crazy idea.

* You can almost never hide the fact that you're eating something delicious.

* You will definitely trip, kick, or step on the same 57 toys everyday. No matter how many times you put them away.

* You will almost never sleep past 7:30 in the morning, as long as diapers and bottles are still required.

* You will have to see disgusting, gross, smelly things in your kids' pants, at least 3 times a day, per kid under 4.

* You will find a moment every few days, where you can sit, get comfy, and not do anything, and in that moment, all hell breaks loose.

* You can't really ever not make something for dinner, even on the nights that all you want to eat is a Malibu and Diet.

* You have to teach them So.Many.Things. Like don't smother your brother, don't feed him magazines, don't unfold the laundry, don't wipe peanut butter on the couch, don't bite the dog, don't headbutt Daddy's crotch, don't dump the bathtub onto the floor, don't run away, don't jump from there, don't put your toothbrush in the toilet...

* You have to do almost all these things, without completely losing your mind.

And that's why kids come out so cute, so you don't give them away to the next person who rings the doorbell during naptime.