Ahh, kids.

I came into the kitchen to make Dizzy a peanut butter sandwich, and he seemed pretty excited. I mean, it is his favorite of all the sandwiches, so it makes sense. I handed it to him, he smiled and took a huge bite, and I turned around to grab myself a handful of Chicken In A Biskit crackers. He practically launched that sandwich, in order to free his grubby little hands, for one of my delicious, delicious crackers. Little brat. As we snacked, I thought of a list of reasons why having kids is a crazy idea.

* You can almost never hide the fact that you're eating something delicious.

* You will definitely trip, kick, or step on the same 57 toys everyday. No matter how many times you put them away.

* You will almost never sleep past 7:30 in the morning, as long as diapers and bottles are still required.

* You will have to see disgusting, gross, smelly things in your kids' pants, at least 3 times a day, per kid under 4.

* You will find a moment every few days, where you can sit, get comfy, and not do anything, and in that moment, all hell breaks loose.

* You can't really ever not make something for dinner, even on the nights that all you want to eat is a Malibu and Diet.

* You have to teach them So.Many.Things. Like don't smother your brother, don't feed him magazines, don't unfold the laundry, don't wipe peanut butter on the couch, don't bite the dog, don't headbutt Daddy's crotch, don't dump the bathtub onto the floor, don't run away, don't jump from there, don't put your toothbrush in the toilet...

* You have to do almost all these things, without completely losing your mind.

And that's why kids come out so cute, so you don't give them away to the next person who rings the doorbell during naptime.