LOVESAC, step by step

As many of you know, we live in a one bedroom apartment. The demons have the bedroom, and me and Daddy, sleep on a pull out couch. (That sounds creeptastic. Sorry.) Anyway, we decided to invest a bajillion dollars into a LOVESAC Sactional. Here's how we did it...

1. Go to the mall for lunch, without your kids, and with your favorite sister, and decide to browse.

2. Walk into LOVESAC to see their beanbag chairs.

3. Fall in love with the salesguy's every word, and BEG your husband to listen to the reasons we need to part with a bajillion dollars.

4. Do your taxes.

5. Wait for taxes to be returned to you.

6. Pay off all you owe, so you feel better about buying a Sactional.

7. Go back to LOVESAC and buy it. Convince them to deliver it as immediately as possible.

8. Be surprised, and unprepared, when it shows up 3 days into their 7-10 day delivery schedule, because you're good at begging.

9. Stare at 14 unpacked boxes til your husband gets home.

10. Try cleaning out the toys and junk in the way of getting the old couch out, while your precious children put it all back where you found it.

11. Try wrangling your kids into one room, so they don't get in the way. Repeatedly. Like 12 times. One may end up injured. Feel bad and set them free.

12. Throw the old couch away, by kicking it down the stairs, saying "goodbye! I hate you!" It's okay to imagine someone you actually wouldn't mind kicking down your stairs, saying that, while doing it. It's therapeutic.

13. Start unpacking the 14 boxes, with "help" from the 3 worst helpers you know.

14. Finally, after an hour and a half, get the pieces covered, and in the correct room.

15. Get into 17 "friendly" disagreements, because someone can't visualize the words, "one right here, and there, and that one not there anymore, because then it's not the right shape."

16. Try hard to get 3 kids, that may be part monkey, and totally crazy, to stay off the pieces. When that doesn't work, emergency tubby time. The kind that starts hot, and ends shivering, with "Iiiii feeeezin!" cries. And allows someone to actually read the easy way to put it together directions.

17. Finally have it together enough to call it done. Tell the kids no food ever, ever, ever when they want to eat mac n cheese on it.

18. Get the kids to bed and stay up late watching Orphan Black, eating Doritos and drinking cokes, on the couch you said no food allowed on.

19. Sleep like you dream about, and shut off three alarms the next morning, before you drag yourself out.

20. Repeat that last step, as many times as your lifetime guarantee, on the most comfortable couch ever, in the history of ever, allows.

And there you have it, 20 steps to getting the best bajillion dollar couch into your living room.